5 Horribly Funny Cult Horror Movies Chosen By Wampire

Rocky Tinder of Portland garage-synth noiseniks Wampire has assembled a list of his favourite creepy horror movies. Here are his choices, and here’s what he has to say: “When I was asked to put together a list of creepy/cult/horror films a few instantly came to mind. For me, some of the most enjoyable of horror movies are the ones so absurd and funny that you are left with a life long memory of just how confusingly terrible that movie was. So here it is, some better than others, all horribly funny and amazing.”

5Jeepers Creepers II

I may or may not have actually seen this film, but recently discovered that one of my favourite human beings happens to play a minor roll in it. In this film, Billy Taggart (Shaun Fleming of Fo+
xygen) is a young farm boy, who is swept up by a spooky scarecrow creature and never seen again. This scarecrow creature was Sam France (also of Foxygen).

You can watch it go down here.

4The Beast in Heat

This film was shown to me about five years ago by a handful of hesher friends of mine. The plot line’s pretty simple. In Nazi-era Germany a smoking hot scientist develops the world’s deadliest weapon: a hairy Italian man with a deadly lust for women. Although some of the scenes can be pretty disturbing, we couldn’t help but laugh our asses off to this one.

3Cabin in the Woods

I cannot even put into words how much I loved this film. Actually the entire experience behind it too was pretty incredible. I saw this at my local second run theatre which is one of my favourite places in town. It’s called Laurelhurst Theater and tickets are only four bucks there, and beers are cheap, and it’s easy to sneak in wine, and at the end of the night they sell all their pizza off for a buck a slice! Anyway, I went there to see it just based off of hearing how good the film is, but knew absolutely nothing about it. I sit down with my beer, a little stoned, and started watching. At first, I got excited by the teen-horror angle they portray in the beginning, and as the plot began to unfold only got more excited to see just how ridiculous it gets. I walked out of the theatre exclaiming that it had just taken a spot in my top five favourite films ever.

2Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

This film leans more into the psychedelic, artsy fartsy side of film-making that one could argue my other choices lack, yet you can’t really take a film about a possessed bed that likes to eat people very serious. There is poetry to this movie, it watches more like a Shakespearian play, but all in all it’s a fucking bed that eats people so no matter how hard you try, you really can’t take this shit too seriously.

1Bone Sickness

Oh Bone Sickness, I still remember the very first time I saw you, playing in the background at a dive bar called The Bovine Sex Club in Toronto, Canada. How I sat there, and stared in complete awe of your terrible production and ridiculously well done gore for such a low budget film. This one kind of requires a strong stomach to watch, but if you can do it, I very highly recommend it. You’ll be on the floor dying with laughter.

Honorable Mention: The Human Centipede

God, this movie is weird and terrible. It almost makes you feel sorry for everyone involved in making it. The acting is so terrible that you just kind of sit there waiting for their mouths to get sewn to an asshole. But none the less this film seemed to do really well and left a pretty strong impression on people!

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