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Tense horror A Quiet Place is the perfect film for cinema narcs

Larry Bartleet

Cinema purists will be thrilled

If you’re planning on seeing Emily Blunt and John Krasinski’s new horror film A Quiet Place, you’re gonna wanna skip the popcorn. Cinemagoers have been struck by the silence at their viewings of the US box-office smash, which centres on a monster-inhabited world where humans must live in total silence or risk being discovered and horribly maimed by sound-sensitive beasts.

Silence reigns in the real world, too, as every sound made by viewers is enormously magnified in their hushed screening rooms. It’s like the film is holding up a mirror to antisocial noisemakers at the cinema. For the past few days, audiences have been sharing stories about passive-aggressive behaviour they’ve both displayed and experienced at their screenings, and most of it involves loud eating. Take note.

Eating popcorn is a sure-fire way to earn death stares:

In fact, if you bring popcorn in, you might want to wait until the end to eat it:

Another tip – avoid nachos:

Crisps, too:

Really, chowing down on any kind of snack is a no-no:

 

Make sure you’re not hungry before the film either:

Despite the hushed atmosphere, some cinemas are still full of people who seem not to give a crap about their fellow viewers:

So, if you care about your fellow humans, try and stay silent. You don’t wanna be this guy:

Congratulations! You’re ready to watch A Quiet Place.