Christmas Films For Every Mood – #2 Gremlins

After the hugs and fun and burps of Elf in Part 1 of ‘Christmas Films For Every Mood’ it’s time to get a little darker and dirtier with a movie that puts the Claws in Santa.

Urgh, I can’t belive I just wrote that. I feel dirty. Like those pictures of Father Christmas I’ve seen on the internet where he gives out presents to naked women. Dare I make a bulging sack joke? No, I want my presents this year.


And we all know Santa doesn’t visit writers that make really, really, shit inneundos.

The ‘Fucked Up’ One
An affectionate tribute to ‘The Greatest Christmas Movie Of All Time’ (coming soon), the sleepy town of Kingston Falls is every bit it’s namesake Bedford. From the picture postcard layout to the ‘everyone knows everyone’ communtiy. It even has its own M. Potter in the curmudgeonly Ruby Deagle, as the thorn in the lovely town’s side.

What sets Gremlins apart from George Bailey and friends is the bodycount. It’s as vicious and dark as the ‘playful’ creatures themsleves. Not caring who gets maimed and killed along the way. As long as everyone is having their funsies.

The deliciousness of setting it at Christmas affords the filmmakers an opportunity to have as much fun as possible with the antithesis of the holiday spirit so wonderfully explored with Phoebe Cates story of why she doesn’t celebrate Christmas (see video).

Not quite as dark as her reason for not celebreating Lincoln’s Birthday in Gremlins 2 which includes the brief but worrying story of an old man, some candy and a 6-year old girl. Now that’s fucked up…

Yes, it’s got cute little Gizmo and yes, it’s a fairly happy ending but this isn’t a kids film. How Channel 5 get to broadcast it most Christmasses in the middle of the afternoon is baffling. So go seek a not cut-to-shit version and enjoy the full darkness of a Christmas classic.

Three more choices to go. Can you guess what’s next? I’ll put something in your stocking if you get it right… there go my presents.