Five Extra Observations On The Oscars Nominations

After successfully robbing cavefish of their sight, making Steve Guttenburg a star and keeping the metric system down, The Stonecutters return to help manipulate the biggest awards show on the planet. It’s Oscar Time! And based on the evidence of this week’s nominations – see Twitter’s blanket outrage – those stupid yellow bastards have got it all wrong yet again. Or have they? Yes. But no. But also yes…

Tinker Tailor Awesome Oldman
Let’s accentuate the surprising positives in the nominations:

  • Tree of Life for Best Picture and Best Director
  • Rooney Mara for Best Actress
  • Jeff Cronenwerth for Cinematography
  • Original Song for Flight of the Conchord‘s Bret McKenzie for The Muppets
  • Tinker Tailor for Best Adapted Screenplay
  • Gary Oldman for the aforementioned spy film
  • Jeff Cronenwerth for Cinematography

While it’s true Hitchcock never received an Oscar he was nominated 5 times. The fact that a legend as skilled in his trade as Gary Oldman had never received a shortlist nod is an iniquity that’s been rightly corrected today.

It’s a Shame about Shame. And Drive and Serkis and Win Win and…

Now for the negatives. Are you a member of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Science? No? Well then, shut it about the nominations. If the actors and actresses – a fifth of the Academy’s 6000 voters – don’t believe that Michael Fassbender poured everything into his portrayal of Brandon in Shame then who are we to argue?

If they couldn’t see that Drive was a visceral tour de force summing up everything spectacular about cinema what right have we to say “You stupid, ignorant arse farts. I despair at your cretinous oversimplification of what is good in the world. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!”? No right at all. And Carnage deserved something too…

“Funny How?”

It may only be a pair of nominations for Bridesmaids (Best Original Screenplay and Best Supporting Actress) but that deuce represents the most love for a flat-out comedy shown by the Oscar panel in years. And while it’s not exactly a gag a minute The Artist‘s most significant genre attribute is its mirth making. Being the frontrunner for Best Picture, we could have our first ‘comedy’ win since 1977’s Annie Hall.

Dean, Dean, De-De-Dean

Those nerdy, geeky lovers of the nerdy, geeky TV show Community will be very pleased to here that Jim Rash, otherwise known as Dean Pelton, is now an Oscar Nominee. Having co-written the adaptation of Kaui Hart Hemming’s novel The Descendants with Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon, Dean/Jim gets to show the world one of the following outfits (see video). Our preference would be to see the Tina Turner costume go out to nearly a billion viewers on Oscar night.
“That’s the BEST you got?”

The Oscars celebrates a certain kind of film. Despite both of the following films succeeding completely in achieving what they set out to accomplish you’ll never see Meloncholia up for Best Picture in the same way you won’t see Rise of the Planet of the Apes up for Best Picture.

What you will see is middling feelgood fare (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, War Horse, Moneyball, The Help) and how ruddy super everything in MovieLand is (The Artist, Hugo, Midnight In Paris). The reason? The majority of The Academy live in a perpetual state of sunshine and cinemas. So when The Academy trundles out its tagline of “Recognising the year’s best films”, it really is just honouring what it recognises. Still a bit (pleasantly) baffled about how The Tree of Life got through though…

Click here for the full list of nominations.

Join us after the ceremony on February 26th for a good cry when what we didn’t want to win wins. Execpt Win Win. That can’t win. Because it wasn’t flipping nominated. C’est La Oscars.