Fake trailers, official trailers and fake versions of official trailers. On-set snapshots and off-set quotes. Filming begins in London, in Pittsburgh, in India, infinitum. Catwoman caught in costume! Catwoman caught out of costume! Cat/woman caught licking her own bits! More dodgy camcorder footage than a German Shiza film and more dodgy rumours than a William Hague biography.
It’s fifty weeks until The Dark Knight Rises hits cinemas and, on average, five news stories per week surrounding Batman, Bane and Bale hit the net. Even those with a C or below in GCSE Maths can work out that’s a shedload of potential news items within the next twelve months for the masked vigilante and his salivating fanbase. With The Dark Knight far from risen – think Batman semi-erect – we ask, how much is too much?
First things first, over at NME Film we’re positively engorged thinking about the forthcoming Batman film. We loved Begins, adored The Dark Knight and have complete faith that 2012 will belong to Master Wayne and company.
Christopher Nolan is one of only a hat full of directors working today that doesn’t seem blinded by mountains of cash piled outside his office door, and the cast and crew that surround him make the Tesco’s Finest range of The Hobbit or Man Of Steel, look like Aldi Value broken biscuits.
Yet despite The Dark Knight Rises having the potential to eclipse a certain Mr. J.H. Christ’s homecoming, we’re sick of it. Sick to the fucking stomach of ‘news’ that The Pittsburgh Steelers will appear in the film, that Adam West may cameo and that a small amount of methane gas has escaped from Christian Bale’s butt cheeks. One of these stories is not entirely true.
The main reason we hate it is because we can’t help but report it. It’s like Catwoman’s nips to us. Official poster leaked online, Bane’s voice heard for the first time, Batmobile to run purely on Bale farts (again possibly one of these is false).
And because we report it, we’re ruining it for ourselves and others that can’t say no to that Bat-fix. We’d love to enter into the film with as little information as possible, as if we’d just stepped out of The Dark Knight‘s credits only to return with more popcorn and drink for the trilogy closer.
We don’t want to know if SPOILER ALERT Liam Neeson is set to return in some capacity, that Marion Cotillard might play his daughter or that Michael Caine will be completely CGI, possibly in the form of his Cars 2 character (All of these are definitely true). SPOILER OVER.
Nolan has done a fine job shrouding the shoot in secrecy as best he can – the most oft quoted cast snippet is “I’ll be killed if I say anything” – but with 350-odd days to go and 250 plus stories to come it won’t be long before a major spoiler ruins it for everyone.
And Holy-Fuck-Sticks Batman, that’ll be a crying shame.