So, the last post had me championing the film ‘Irreversible’ (a film that unfortunately features a horrific killing and anal rape) and this latest has me going giddy for the wonders of Pixar, (talking puppies, cutesy loveable robots and cuddly toys being all anthropomorphised). “My, my”, you’re thinking, “this Owen fella has quite diverse tastes”.
Well, thanks. But I was only really pointing out the contrast so that I could be the first person to ever write the words ‘Pixar’ and ‘anal rape’ within a line of each other. And who knows some pervert might google the latter, be sent here, read my lovely words and change his life around. After all that’s why I’m here.
Now that we’re all sitting uncomfortably here’s something to make you like humanity again. With Pixar celebrating 10 in a row for outstanding contributions to cinema – thanks to their latest, ‘Up’ – here’s the best five moments from Luxo Jr and friends.
5) Ratatouille – Anton Ego’s Review
After sampling the finest meal of his life, the hard-to-please food critic sits and waits to meet the chef. Upon being presented with a master of cuisine in non-speaking rat form, the connoisseur listens patiently and goes home to write his review.
What follows is a painfully honest critique of criticism, stating that “the average piece of junk is more meaningful than our words designating it so”. As a ‘critic’ (of sorts) these words rang as true to me as they did to the several hundred other faultfinders that gave this film some of the most glowing plaudits of all time. And rightly so.
4) Toy Story – Buzz Flies
You could quite correctly pin-point this as the very moment that Pixar became a force to be reckoned with. Everything that came before was mightily impressive but that dynamic between the leads as they counter “Can’s” with “Can not’s” followed by Buzz taking flight was the heart and soul of their first outing.
While a film about toys coming to life is easily gonna impress someone that still pisses in their pants, (i.e children) the reason this scene is so important is that it introduces everyone (adults and kids) to what the film is really about, Buzz and Woody’s rivalry. And the payoff when Buzz realises he did just fall with style: pretty god-damn crushing.
3) Toy Story 2 – Jesse’s Story
From a movie that could easily challenge ‘Godfather Part 2’ and ‘Empire Strikes Back’ as the greatest ever sequel comes a piece of sadness that really if you’re male and about to watch this at work, just stop. Just stop right now.
Oh you watched it anyway did you? Well now you’re crying, aren’t you? I tried to warn you. If by some miracle you’re not squirting tears then that means you’re dead. How does that feel? Huh? Being dead. Not nice is it? Fancy a cry now?
2) WALL-E – WALL-E and EVE dance
How could this possibly not be my number one? Once, you see ‘Up’ you’ll know. But I still stand resolutely behind the fact that WALL-E as a whole is a much greater film and a very strong contender for the best film of the century so far. In fact it has so many glorious moments, from WALL-E looking after EVE in hibernation to him giving her a tour of his home, that picking just one is almost masochistic.
But if there can be only one, then this is it. Playful, witty, warm and far too romantic considering they are robots, the moment that EVE finally gives in to WALL-E is a joy to behold. As for the little noises he makes after the kiss, yep, I’m crying again.
1) ‘Up’ – The Montage
Over the past year on this site I’ve admitted to crying far too many times. Going into ‘Up’ I had made myself a solemn vow to at least try and contain some level of manliness. Within 15 minutes that was out of the window.
The power of the scene is not that it’s heart-rendingly joyful and then, within a split-second, crushingly sorrowful but the way that Pixar manage to, in a matter of minutes, earn every single tear that rolls down the face.
As it’s only out in the cinemas this week I’m not going to spoil the wonderful, beautiful surprise that is without doubt the finest montage sequence in film history, instead I’ll just implore you to watch it.