Theresa May has ushered in the new year with a cabinet reshuffle that was reportedly set to “promote Tory rising stars through ministerial ranks”. Inevitably, there’s been controversy – more of which later – but there are some notable non-movers: Phillip Hammond as Chancellor, Amber Rudd as Home Secretary, Boris Johnson as Foreign Secretary and David Davis as Secretary of State for Exiting the EU. Here, though, is what the winners of the shake-up have done for you in the past.
David Lidington, Cabinet Office Minister and Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster
Having spent six months as Justice Secretary, Lidington takes over from Damian Green, who was May’s former deputy and who was sacked when it emerged that he’d lied about having porn on his work computer. We’ve all be there.
The good: He was pro-Romain during the EU referendum, having been described as “passionate” in his advocacy for staying put. He also voted for a wholly elected House of Lords, unlike many of his peers, and voted for a ban on fox hunting.
The bad: He voted against a tax on bankers’ bonuses and for raising the tuition fees cap to £9,000.
Brandon Lewis, Party Chairman and minister without portfolio
Perhaps spooked by Corbyn’s success in getting down with the kids on Facebook and Twitter, the Tories are looking to improve their social media presence – and evidently believe that this 46-year-old man is the one to dazzle young voters with sick tweets. His renewed social media presence hasn’t got off to a good start, as the Tories’ Twitter account initially, erroneously said Chris Grayling had bagged the gig.
The good: He has consistently voted for gay rights and same sex marriage.
The bad: He’s super Brexit, having been instrumental in bringing back blue passports after we leave the EU, and also voted for ending financial support for some 16-19-year-olds in training and further education A slow clap for you, Brandon Lewis.
James Cleverly, deputy party chair
An extremely ambitious type, Cleverly has expressed interest in the top job and – perhaps thinking he knew which side his bread was buttered on – backed Boris Johnson for the leadership in 2016.
The good: Not much. At least he seems kinda chill, having admitted that he’s been known to “dabble” in drugs. Like a normal person!
The bad: The Braintree MP is mega Brexit, and voted against a wholly elected House of Lords and the removal of hereditary peers. He voted against measures to prevent climate change and against laws to promote equality and human rights.
Sajid Javid, Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government
His title hasn’t officially changed, but his responsibilities are beefed up somewhat. Housing has now been added to Javid plate, an indication of how important the subject has become in the UK.
The good: Like Lewis, he’s been consistently progressive on gay rights and voted for gay marriage.
The bad: He voted against the right to remain for EU nationals already in living in the UK and consistently voted for phasing out secure tenancies for life. Javid also almost always voted against spending public money to create guaranteed jobs for young people who have spent a long time unemployed and, additionally, voted for higher taxes on booze. Top one, Sajid!
Jeremy Hunt, Secretary of State for Health and Social Care
Ah, okay, she’s really fucked it here. Health Secretary and all round bastard Jeremy Hunt – a man so routinely awful that newsreaders keep accidentally calling him ‘Jeremy Cunt’ – has kept his job, but will now also be in charge of Social Care. This from a man who is almost universally loathed by junior doctors and who was forced to apologise last week when he approved the cancellation of 55,000 operations until February. Another slow clap, if you still have the energy.
The good: Having a bit of a tumbleweed moment here, lads.
The bad: How long have you got?