“I’m the Scottish Beyoncé”: Five of Lewis Capaldi’s funniest moments 

From beefing with Liam Gallagher at Glasto to boasting about his sex life at Isle of Wight, here are five times Capaldi proved himself a right comedian

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Scottish singer Lewis Capaldi has had to cancel his planned gig as this year’s ARIA Awards co-host, which is a shame when you recall the number of flat-out hilarious television appearances he’s racked in the last few years alone.

Luckily, Australia won’t have to wait long till Capaldi returns to our shores. He’ll tour Australia and New Zealand next July, but you shouldn’t procrastinate on getting tickets – he’s already sold out two massive arena shows in Sydney and Melbourne. Thankfully, he’s added new dates in those cities so no one will miss out.

Capaldi’s shows are where you see the two different sides of the musician – his heartstring-tugging balladry and his iconic wisecracks. Ahead of Capaldi’s 2023 Australasian tour in support of his upcoming album ‘Broken By Desire To Be Heavenly Sent’, we rounded up five of the artist’s funniest moments.

Rusty at Isle of Wight Festival

Headlining the Saturday night of the Isle of Wight festival back in June after a break from performing, Capaldi admitted to some nerves.

“I’m very rusty at this,” he told the crowd. “It’s been a while since I did a gig like this, which is also what I tell every girl I have a one-night stand with.

“Yes, I have had lots of sex. Lots of sex. This is gonna be fun, but I’m very nervous.”

And while there was some expectation that Capaldi might play some new material, he was very frank about why that wouldn’t be the case.

“I was meant to play new music,” Capaldi stated, “but I’m a lazy c**t and didn’t do it over lockdown.”

Even so, later in the set he said, “this is the best gig I’ve ever fucking played. So thank you.”

The specific rim

Appearing live in the studio on BBC Breakfast in September, Capaldi had a charming conversation with hosts Naga Munchetty and Charlie Stayt, covering topics such as staying healthy and the singer’s recent Tourette’s Syndrome diagnosis. As the chat wrapped up, Capaldi praised Stayt about his hairstyle, prompting the host to return the compliment.

“Would you like a room?” quipped Munchetty.

“I thought you said rim,” replied Capaldi.

A gobsmacked Manchetty threw to a commercial break with the words, “We’re going to have a little word with Lewis.”

Talking the Grammys with Graham

Capaldi stopped by the Graham Norton Show in January 2020 to perform his song ‘Before You Go’ and sit on the couch for a chat. Norton was quick to ask him about his experience attending that year’s Grammy Awards. Capaldi didn’t mince his words.

“You have these people who come and sit on the seats, when people fuck off to do a pee or a poo.

“I was on the end of a row and people kept going and I had to keep getting up then sitting down. Then it was during a commercial break a lady came up to me and said, ‘oh, I’ll take this seat now’.

“I said, ‘I don’t know what you’re fucking talking about’.

“So then she went, ‘oh, this is your seat?’

“I said, ‘listen, I know I didn’t win the Grammy, but I thought I’d be able to stay till the end!’

The social media response had it that Capaldi had somewhat rescued the show, as comic Jim Carrey had earlier appeared to have insulted Australian actress Margot Robbie, insinuating she’d only become successful due to her looks.

Capaldi saves the day!

Beef with Noel Gallagher

In a 2019 interview with Radio X’s Gordon Smart, Noel Gallagher bemoaned the state of modern music, asking “Who’s this Capaldi fella?” before describing him as “an idiot”.

Capaldi’s reaction on Twitter was gracious – he stated that he had “peaked” with a Gallagher mention – but he saved his best response for the moment he took to the stage a few days later at Glastonbury, walking out in a Liam-style anorak before removing it to reveal a T-shirt emblazoned with a heart that featured Noel.

“I’m the Scottish Beyoncé”

When Capaldi stopped by to appear on the Scandinavian talk show, Skavlan, the host asked about the singer’s famous Tube station billboard that declared “I am the Scottish Beyoncé.

Sitting alongside journalist/author Hanna Hellquist and comedian Nils Ingar Aadne, Capaldi quickly warmed to the question.

“I know what you were all thinking when I came out here,” he said. “I saw you looking. You were thinking, ‘all the single ladies, all the single ladies, now put your hands up!’ You know what I mean? So yeah… I’m the Scottish Beyoncé. We’re very similar.”

Are you worried that you might become too similar? asked Savlan.

“Yes,” Capaldi replied, totally seriously, “because we both love to sing and dance. We’re both beautiful. And we both love Jay-Z. She’s married to him… and I’m not. Unfortunately. Not yet.

“With any luck that marriage will dissolve.”

Lewis Capaldi tours Australia and New Zealand in July 2023 – find tickets here

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