Jonah Hill has said that his struggles with his body “intensely fucked” him up.
The actor and filmmaker opened up about his insecurities in his new documentary Stutz, which he directed and starred in alongside his real-life therapist, Phil Stutz.
“I just keep asking myself, ‘Was this a fucking terrible idea for a patient to make a movie about his therapist?'” Hill says in the film, in which he also admits his insecurities “intensely fucked [him] up”.
“I had no healthy self esteem,” Hill continued. “Having grown up overweight was something – that sounds like not a big deal, or like, ‘Poor you’ or whatever – but for me, personally, it intensely fucked me up.”
Watch the trailer for Stutz below:
Hill reveals that he began seeing Stutz “out of desperation to get happier” at the age of 33.
“I had an incredible amount of success,” Hill said of that era, which came after the success of comedies including Superbad and 21 Jump Street.
But “inherently, at my core, I’m still this unlovable person”, he added. “The work is inching towards not only accepting [that] it’s great to be this person, but that’s still very hard.”
He wrote in an open letter that he had been suffering anxiety attacks, and that they were “exacerbated by media appearances and public-facing events”.
“I usually cringe at letters or statements like this but I understand that I am of the privileged few who can afford to take time off,” Hill wrote.
“I won’t lose my job while working on my anxiety. With this letter and Stutz, I’m hoping to make it more normal for people to talk and act on this stuff. So they can take steps towards feeling better and so that the people in their lives might understand their issues more clearly.
“I hope the work will speak for itself and I’m grateful to my collaborators, my business partners and to all reading this for your understanding and support.”