‘People Just Do Nothing’: the 10 best episodes ever

BBC Three's garage-obsessed mockumentary has just debuted on the big screen

In the golden age of BBC Three – that’s early to mid 2010s, FYI – you couldn’t move for brilliant, era-defining British comedy. But even amid classics like Fleabag and Russell Tovey’s Him & Her, one show stood out.

Zooming in on a forgotten culture in an equally forgotten place in west London, People Just Do Nothing follows garage enthusiast MC Grindah (Allan Mustafa) and his gang of misfit DJs, who run Brentford’s not-so-secret pirate radio station Kurupt FM. After trying for five seasons to bring garage into the mainstream, the witless crew called it quits and went their separate ways. Now with a debut album, feature film and new documentary in the offing, they’re set for a huge comeback. Let’s look back at the show’s best episodes to celebrate.

‘The Godfather’ (season two, episode one)

Grindah and his girlfriend Miche decide to have their daughter Angel christened. Of course, this brings up the question: who’s going to be the godfather? It’s long been hinted that fellow Kurupt FM member Decoy is Angel’s real dad, so you’d think he might be in the running. But by the episode’s chaotic end, the announcement takes a typically unexpected turn.

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Funniest moment: Watching Grindah’s BFF DJ Beats try and butter him up – along with five-year-old Angel herself – for the coveted role.

‘Record Deal’ (season three, episode two)

Every MC’s dream is to get signed. But when you have a manager like Chabuddy G (Asim Chaudhry), who thinks selling “peanut dust martinis” is a legitimate side-hustle, actually getting a record deal feels like an impossible dream. This episode sees the gang work hard to achieve their goal, but ultimately fall short once again. Elsewhere, Miche is in need of a pay rise to pay for her and Grindah’s upcoming wedding, which involves passing a hairdressing test aided by unpredictable weedhead Steves.

Funniest moment: Chabuddy and Grindah head to a local record shop to try and sell their new tune. It does not go well…

‘Outro’ (season five, episode six)

Finally leaving his beloved Hounslow for a brand new pad in Essex, Grindah calls an end to Kurupt FM. In this episode, Beats plans the perfect going away itinerary to say goodbye to his compadre. It’s unexpectedly heart-rending and a beautiful farewell to the series.

Funniest moment: Chabuddy moves himself into Steves’ flat, starting up a tech helpline with his weed-addled flatmate’s savings.

‘Dubplate’ (season three, episode one)

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By season three, Grindah and the gang have picked up on the fame generated by their behind-the-scenes mockumentary. ‘Dubplate’ lets the ensemble’s (even) quirkier, quieter members step into the spotlight. Steves barricades the studio after Chabuddy only rents the space for an hour, and the usually mute Decoy pipes up a bit more too.

Funniest moment: Chabuddy tests out a new recipe included chillis. You can probably tell how that ends up…

Bosses (season four, episode four)

In the episode before this (which appears later in this list), a new crew on the block called Kold FM scrawl graffiti over our beloved Kurupt FM’s station. So, Grindah and co take a lead out of Al Capone’s book and set up a mafia-style sit down. It turns out, the attack on the HQ was all because Steves dognapped Kold’s pooch.

Funniest moment: Alongside The Godfather-eque main storyline, Chadbuddy becomes an electronics retailer – and doesn’t he mess it all up!

‘Rivalry’ (season four, episode two)

After falling out with his right hand man as well as girlfriend Miche, Grindah is at rock bottom. Working hard to win his beloved back, Grindah puts his ego in check and attempts to show her he’s changed. How does he do this? By whipping up his, er, trademark lasagne.

Funniest moment: Caught snooping on a new rival station, Beats makes a dash for it in belly-tickling style.

 

‘Competition’ (season one, episode three)

MC Grindah and his pals are a cocky lot, but running a phone-in competition with their ultra-low ratings was optimistic even by their standards. From the disgruntled fan looking for a life-changing prize to Chabuddy’s fraudulent entry on behalf of his wife Aldona, it’s a raucous half hour of top-notch UK comedy.

Funniest moment: When the oblivious Chabuddy is locked out of his home while Aldona canoodles with a mystery man inside.

‘New Friends’ (season three, episode four)

Grindah gets a shock to the system when right hand man Beats finds a new friend to idolise. To make matters worse, his relationship with Miche is on he rocks again. Embarrassed and alone, the crew leader cuts a desperate (and hilarious) figure as he tries to piece his life back together.

Funniest moment: In the very last scene, we see Grindah snuggled up in a sleeping bag on Beats’ sofa. Then Beats’ stepson Craig starts playing video games…

‘Angel’s Birthday’ (season one, episode two)

With a dad like Grindah, Angel surely wasn’t expecting too much on her big day. But the dopey MC still manages to disappoint. From the penis-shaped chocolates to the stripper clown (Chabuddy’s input, of course) this was surely the worst kids’ party ever. At least there’s a wholesome ending when Beats and Angel rap together.

Funniest moment: You know the clown stripper? Well, Kurupt FM’s frontman got stuck in the lift with him, and let’s say that it was a very uncomfortable experience for Grindah.

‘War’ (season four, episode three)

After binging this series multiple times, ‘War’ still makes me crack up every time I watch it. From the boys continuing feud with Kold FM to Grindah’s attempts to chaperone his daughter on a school trip to the RAF museum (in order to, once again, win back Miche) it’s a premium episode.

Funniest moment: While Grindah is trying to “graft” on Miche, Steves receives inheritance money from his nan. Only he would lock it away in a safe with a random code, forget that code, and drop it from a fifth floor balcony (thus letting passers-by steal large amounts of the money).

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