With just three weeks to go until Glastonbury 2017 kicks off (Wednesday June 21), the full line-up, stage splits and performance times have been announced. This can only mean one thing – it’s time to spot the gigantic clashes, the moments when you’ll need to pick between two of your favourite acts and fend off proper festival FOMO.
Glastonbury obviously promises an incredible time, whatever happens. You could wander around the healing fields aimlessly for four days and still feel like you’ve had a worthwhile experience. But those who like their festivals to be carefully coordinated will always have one eye on the stage times.
The xx vs. Future Islands
When? Friday June 23 – The xx (19.30, Pyramid Stage), Future Islands (19.30, John Peel Stage)
Second-from-top on the Pyramid Stage, The xx are ready to play one of the shows of their lives. But at the exact same time, the John Peel Stage hosts Baltimore trio Future Islands. The choice is simple – get teary while singing to ‘Say Something Loving’, or bust out some moves in the style of Samuel T. Herring.
Anderson .Paak vs. Lorde
When? Friday June 23 – Lorde (20.45, Other Stage), Anderson .Paak (20.45, West Holts)
Would you prefer to sing your lungs out to ‘Green Light’ or watch the fastest-rising R&B talent conquer the West Holts stage? After last year’s ‘Malibu’ album and some high-profile collaborations with Kaytranada and Chance the Rapper, Anderson .Paak is riding a wave. But with Lorde’s new ‘Melodrama’ album out in June, she’ll also be in the form of her life. It’s a toughie.
Radiohead vs. The Flaming Lips
When? Friday June 23 – Radiohead (21.30, Pyramid Stage), The Flaming Lips (22.45, The Park Stage)
It’s technically possible to see both of these, but you’d miss out on a Radiohead encore, which is when they usually dish out the hits. One long trek to the Park Stage will put you face-to-face with Wayne Coyne’s giant see-through hamster ball, but you might be missing ‘Creep’. Your call.
Major Lazer vs. Dizzee Rascal
When? Friday June 23 – Major Lazer (22.30, Other Stage), Dizzee Rascal (22.30, West Holts)
Glasto party-starters will probably give Radiohead a miss. Instead, they can pick between a couple of hours in Diplo’s company – where he’s bound to be joined by a bunch of special guests – or a chance to chant ‘Fix Up Look Sharp’ like a lunatic.
Craig David vs. Thundercat
When? Saturday June 24 – Thundercat (14.30, West Holts), Craig David (14.45, Pyramid Stage)
Craig David’s ascent from previous has-been to Pyramid Stage superstar is nothing short of remarkable. His mid-afternoon slot on the Saturday will be a new career peak. But over on West Holts, Kendrick collaborator and bass maestro Thundercat will be giving an awe-inspiring masterclass. Either way, you can’t lose.
Run the Jewels vs. Loyle Carner
When? Saturday June 24 – Run the Jewels (16.15, Pyramid Stage), Loyle Carner (16.50, John Peel)
Run the Jewels being given a shot at the Pyramid Stage promises to be epic. But at the same time, one of hip-hop’s future giants is making a bid for the top. Loyle Carner’s ‘Yesterday’s Gone’ debut was an early 2017 highlight – he promises to draw a huge crowd on the Saturday.
The National vs. The Avalanches
When? Saturday June 24 – The Avalanches (19.00, West Holts), The National (19.45, Pyramid Stage)
Who do you want to spend your Saturday sunset with? Australian sample-happy comeback kings The Avalanches or sadboys done good The National? Add to the conundrum grime legend Wiley, who also plays at the same time, and this is one of Glastonbury’s toughest clashes.
Foo Fighters vs. Father John Misty
When? Saturday June 24 – Father John Misty (21.00, John Peel), Foo Fighters (21.15, Pyramid Stage)
One broken leg later, the Foos are finally ready to take on Glastonbury’s headline slot. But they face stiff competition in Father John Misty, whose ‘Pure Comedy’ album is one of 2017’s finest.
Alt-J vs. Warpaint
When? Saturday June 24 – Alt-J (22.30, Other Stage), Warpaint (23.00, Park)
The options are endless on Saturday night. The Jacksons clash with French dreamboats Phoenix, and Alt-J’s big shot at the Other Stage falls at the same time as LA trio Warpaint’s appearance over on the Park.
Chic vs. Shaggy
When? Sunday June 25 – Shaggy (17.00, West Holts), Chic (17.45, Pyramid Stage)
It’s a battle of the legends on Glastonbury’s final day. Following Barry Gibb’s Pyramid Stage slot, Chic and Nile Rodgers pick up the baton. But over on West Holts, Shaggy will be inspiring a nostalgia-drenched sing-along of ‘It Wasn’t Me’.
Boy Better Know vs. Kano
When? Sunday June 25 – Kano (21.00, Park Stage), Boy Better Know (22.00, Other Stage)
While Ed Sheeran conquers the Pyramid Stage, it’s a brutal clash between grime hero Kano and current league-toppers Boy Better Know. A one mile sprint through the mud and you might be able to see both. One thing’s certain – Glastonbury’s going to close in mayhem.
Barry Gibb vs. Kiefer Sutherland
When? Sunday June 25 – Barry Gibb (16.00, Pyramid Stage), Kiefer Sutherland (16.50, Avalon)
Close to 100,000 will be turning up to Barry Gibb’s legend slot on the Sunday. And this could, on paper, mean that nobody turns up to 24 hero and country aficionado Kiefer Sutherland’s mid-afternoon set. Could your conscience handle that?