If Not Longleat, Where Else Could Glastonbury Relocate To?

Earlier this year Glasto, head honcho Michael Eavis said he wanted to move the long-running festival to a new site in 2019. Michael’s reason behind the mooted move was to get more space to accommodate the thousands upon thousands of party people who descend on Worthy Farm every year, as well as the fact that the land that the Pyramid Stage sits on isn’t actually owned by Eavis, meaning it’s a logistical nightmare and he’s beholden to his neighbouring landowners.

Michael’s plan was to move to Longleat, a 9,000 acre estate in Wiltshire ruled over by the Marquess of Bath, an eccentric millionaire known for his love of velvety capes and his collection of 75 adoring women known as ‘wifelets’. Posh people, eh?

However, over the weekend it was revealed that the plans to move had stalled due to a family disagreement within the Longleat camp. “’Longleat probably won’t happen any more. Lord Bath is really keen. I went to him because I knew him when he was a boy,” said Michael. “But he and his son aren’t agreeing, and they don’t speak very much, so it’s hard to make decisions. I haven’t been able to sit down with all of them at the same time”. So, where else could Glasto go? Well, we’ve had a couple of ideas.

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Fleet Services

If drive to Glasto on the regs from anywhere north of the site, then you will already be well aware of the joys of Fleet Services. There’s always a party vibe at Fleet, with people stocking up on booze and using the last real life toilets they’ll see for four days. There’s a cool wooded area too, which, if the festival were to move there, we can totally imagine a stage being set up in. And, you could have Subway and KFC for every meal. Sounds dreamy, no?

Stonehenge

The mystery that is #Stonehenge. Glad to have experienced it this close, thanks to #BritishTours

A photo posted by Camille Co (@itscamilleco) on

If you want vibes, then Stonehenge has got them in spades. It’s near-ish to Worthy Farm and has already got pretty decent history when it comes to staging events;
the Stonehenge Free Festival was held at the ancient monument from 1974-84, until the police got a little too rowdy. Instead of the Pyramid Stage, bands could just set up in the middle of the stones.

Heaton Park

Why not move Glastonbury to Manchester? Manchester’s Heaton Park has already hosted everyone from the Pope (100,000 people turned up to see John Paul II do a mass in 1982), to Oasis and The Stone Roses as well as the Parklife festival. The Manchester weather – continual bloody rain – should also be familiar to anyone who’s ever sprang a leak in their wellies at 3am in Shangri La.

The Lake District

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At 583,747 acres, The Lake District is England’s largest National Park. We’re talking areas of extreme natural beauty, lots of adorbs little B&Bs to stay in and loads of pretty decent venison. The perfect setting for five days of rock’n’roll carnage, right?

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