Which song describes you best?
“The Palace Brothers covering ‘I Will Always Love You’, live in Glasgow a few years ago.”
What is heaven?
“A nice house by a loch in northeast Scotland and some pets, some kids, a big telly and a nice stereo, and my wonderful friend.”
What is hell?
“Four-and-a-half hours on a train with a steamin’ Irishman playing this Eagles tape over and over.”
What is your earliest memory?
“I remember taking a vivid red ball from the cupboard. I was about two. When I was young I was colour-blind, which might have something to do with it.”
What is your greatest fear?
“Blades. Maybe it’s because of where we come from.”
Who is your all-time hero?
“I’ve never bought into heroes, but I was a big Peter Cushing fan when I was a wee boy. When I was five, we went to see Star Wars, and he was a bad guy! That me up.”
What’s the worst trouble you’ve ever been in?
“I’ve never been in trouble. Well, even if all our records have been about my getting into trouble, I never felt it was trouble. Which was probably the problem. I’ve been arrested and spent the night in jail three times, though.”
What is your greatest talent?
“I don’t think I have any!”
Who was the first love of your life?
“Vivian Gilles. I was the first boy in school to discover swearing aged about six, you might be surprised to learn. She wouldn’t invite me to her party, but I begged and she let me come so long as I didn’t swear, but then I did, and she never spoke to me after that. And then she went out with my best pal.”
Upon whom would you most like to exact revenge?
“Revenge is not the way of the Jedi. I get my revenge quite regularly when I write songs about ex-girlfriends, though.”
What is your most treasured possession?
“The s I have of Laura.”
What do you most regret doing while drunk?
“A fleeting affair I had with a young woman when I was going out with someone, which had a do with drink.”
What can you cook?
What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
“I don’t take advice that well.”
Can you read music?
“No. I’m a singer. Why would I want to read music?”
If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
“Follow all my friends around to see what they got up to when I wasn’t there.”
What are your final three wishes?
“I don’t wish, as a rule. I did almost pray on holiday in Greece once, when I fell asleep for three hours under the sun. It was really painful and I was ruining Laura’s holiday. I just wanted to leap up and be well.”