What song describes you best?
“In my current condition, probably ‘Dazed And Confused’ (Led Zeppelin).”
What is heaven?
“Clement weather, no traffic, and no obligations.”
What is hell?
“Burning, impaling spikes, birds gouging out eyes. I enjoy hellish scenarios. That’s why I got into the record business. Actually, here’s a good definition of hell: five cellphones strapped to your head.”
What’s your earliest memory?
“Trying to escape, but not being able to walk. Being a prisoner to infancy.”
What is your greatest fear?
“I have a fear of heights, so falling off something very tall. But I’ve conquered a good amount of my fears. I guess most people would have the fear of getting up in front of a large audience of people and making a fool of themselves. I’ve gotten over that.”
Who is your all-time hero?
“There are all kinds of artists I respect, but there’s nobody I really mould myself on.”
What’s the worst trouble you’ve ever been in?
“I’ve been roughed up a few times. Just walking down the wrong street at the wrong time. Some trouble that I actively instigated was spitting on people at the amusement park when I was eight from one of the rides. I got frisked down and shown the exit.”
What is your greatest talent?
“I’m pretty good at advice. I find it almost impossible to advise myself, though.”
Upon whom would you most like to exact revenge? How? Why?
“Nobody. Although when I did a Spin cover about three or four years ago the photographer airbrushed my face with all kinds of crazy make-up, made me look like some goth clown. So at the time, I very much wanted revenge. I would have done something indirect. A banana up the tail pipe.”
What’s your most treasured possession?
“Maybe some of my lyric books because I wouldn’t be able to remember them. I have a lot of unrecorded songs, and they’d be lost.”
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
“I’m still waiting for it.”
What have you most regretted doing while drunk?
“Eating three bags of doughnuts on skid row in the rain next to a burning old trashcan.”
Can you cook?
“A bit. Toast. Eggs.”
Can you read music?
“I refuse to answer that question till world peace has been established.”
If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
“It’d be cool to go through all those ’employees only’ entrances. I had this desire as a kid for all the people to disappear for a day, but somehow all the movies would still be running, all the amusement rides would still be going, all the stores would still be open so I could go.”
What are your final three wishes?
“To be able to play ripping guitar leads, for air travel to evolve to the level of a luxury liner, and a massage. And to be a little taller. I have big hands, so I wouldn’t mind growing into them.”