Billie Eilish says she considered taking her life in 2018: “I was joyless”

Eilish has opened up about her battle with depression.

Billie Eilish has said she considered taking her own life in 2018, after becoming overwhelmed by her burgeoning fame.

The singer revealed during The Gayle King Grammy Special that she became clinically depressed after fame resulted in losing friends who were unable to relate to her new experiences.

It comes as the singer gears up for Sunday’s Grammys, where she is up for six awards after her debut album ‘When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?’ became a global hit.
“I was so unhappy last year,” she told Gayle King. “I was so unhappy and I was so like, joyless.”

“I don’t want to be too dark, but I genuinely didn’t think I’d make it to 17,” Eilish explained.

“Did you think that you would do something to yourself?” King subsequently asked.

Billie Eilish at The Forum on January 18, 2020
Billie Eilish at The Forum on January 18, 2020 in Inglewood, California Credit: Getty

“Yeah,” Eilish responded. “I think about this one time I was in Berlin, and I was alone in my hotel, and I remember there was a window right there, and I, like… God, I remember crying because I was thinking about how …the way that I was gonna die was that I was gonna do it.”

Eilish says she eventually sought help from her mother Maggie Baird, who helped her to access therapy and started to turn down a multitude of requests on her behalf.

Her frank comments come after she previously shared advice for fans who were suffering from similar mental health struggles.

“All I can say now is, For anybody who isn’t doing well, it will get better. Have hope. I did this shit with fame riding on my shoulders,” said Eilish.

“And I love fame! Being famous is great, but it was horrible for a year. Now I love what I do, and I’m me again. The good me. And I love the eyes on me.”

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