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Brian May says depression “engulfed” him over Christmas: “I haven’t wanted to show my face”

"There’s something about this time of the year that paralyses me"

By Charlotte Krol
Brian May of Queen performs on stage during 2019 Global Citizen Festival
Brian May of Queen performs on stage during 2019 Global Citizen Festival at Central Park. CREDIT: Lev Radin/Pacific Press/LightRocket via Getty Images

Brian May has written openly about depression over the Christmas period.

In an Instagram post the Queen guitarist, 72, said the festive period “paralyses” him. “I haven’t wanted to show my face because my face was grim. There’s something about this time of the year that paralyses me. Depression, hopelessness, fear…I get engulfed. Is it logical?” he wrote.

“No. Should I be grateful for my life and therefore NOT depressed? Yes. But none of that makes any difference when you look up and the colours have gone out of the world.”

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Inspiration for the next 10 years ? Thanks to my dear friend Joe Elliott @defleppard I have this great image of my hero Jimi Hendrix on my wall to remind me to keep reaching for the stars. Ach ! A bit too glib for you ? Well, that’s my brave face. Most of this Christmas period I haven’t wanted to show my face because my face was grim. There’s something about this time of the year that paralyses me. Depression, hopelessness, fear … I get engulfed. Is it logical ? No. Should I be grateful for my life and therefore NOT depressed ? Yes. But none of that makes any difference when you look up and the colours have gone out of the world. Tomorrow I am wrenching myself back into ‘normality’ – starting with some biking and stretching and hot and cold showering. Oh ! And the Veganuary quest ? It went OK on Day 2. Breakfast : half a grapefruit and crispbread with plant-based spread and home-made marmalade. Jasmin tea, black. Lunch : a Vegan Leggera Padana in Pizza Express with my littlest ones. That’s very easy – they do it all for you – they make it with Vegan cheese and it tastes just like ‘normal’ ! And for Dinner : some nice light veggies prepared by my amazing wife ! There are SO many great vegetables in the world – artichoke hearts, hearts of palm, roasted parsnips, new potatoes, and a rocket and tomato salad, perked up with Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegar from dear old Luciano Pavarotti’s home town. Plus a nice selection of nuts and raisins. Hey ! This is a doddle !! Ha ha !! Well, we shall see ! Happy Friday folks … we’ll soon be out of this murky Sargasso Sea ! Bri

A post shared by Brian Harold May (@brianmayforreal) on

The guitarist said he was “wrenching” himself back into “normality” with “biking, stretching and hot and cold ­showering”.

May has spoken about his mental heath before. In 2011, he said he “didn’t want to live” in the months following the deaths of Queen frontman Freddie Mercury as well as May’s father in 1991.

Elsewhere in the post May made notes about his second day of Veganuary, appearing to joke that it is “a doddle”.

May is known for his animal rights work, particularly with his commitment to helping farmers solve the problem of bovine TB without resorting to badger culling.

In other news Bohemian Rhapsody, the award-winning Freddie Mercury and Queen biopic, has been confirmed as the biggest-selling home video in the UK in 2019.

New data provided by the Entertainment Retailers Association (ERA) has now confirmed that Bohemian Rhapsody was the best-selling home video in the UK in 2019, with 1.7 million units sold — two thirds of which were from DVD or Blu-Ray sales, with the rest from digital downloads.

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