It's his most treasured posession, you know...

Which song describes you best?

“‘Personality Crisis’ by New York Dolls. Because I like the lyrics, ‘You’re a prima ballerina on a spring afternoon/Change on into the wolfman howling at the moon”. And another line, “your mind starts to bend”. That’s me.”

What is heaven? “Smoking pot and doing nothing with no responsibilities and a sense of achievement.”


What is hell?

“The morning.”

Earliest memory?

“Sneaking into the kitchen and nicking sweets from the cupboard with my dad’s girlfriend’s kid at night. We were pretty out of it and it was like sleepwalking on a sugar bus.”

What is your greatest fear?



Who is your greatest hero?

“My first real hero was Sid Vicious but I have loads of heroes: Chuck D, Leigh Bowery, Brian Wilson, The Ramones, New York Dolls, to name a few. They all mean different things to me, but I don’t have one in particular.”

What’s the worst trouble you’ve been in?

“Getting nicked for drug dealing. I got arrested and had to do community service. A year in and out of court, and they were threatening to put me away for two years, it was horrible.”

Who was your first love?

“Lisa Everritt, at juniors’.”

Upon whom would you most like to enact to revenge?

“On the local education authority, for not letting me be taught at home. My mum wanted to take me out of school and teach me at home because I was getting into too much trouble but they wouldn’t allow me. Fucking stupid of them. It would have saved them a lot of aggravation and I would have got a better education.”

What’s your most treasured possession?

“My mind. Because if you lose that, you’ve got nothing.”

What can you cook?

“Pasta and fry-ups.”

What’s the best advice you’ve received?

“I can’t remember. I probably wasn’t paying attention.”

Thing you most regretted doing while drunk?

“Well, every time I get drunk I get Tourette’s Syndrome. So that must be every time I go out.”

Can you read music?


If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?

“Be in the changing rooms of the Olympic female synchronised swimming team.”

If you had three wishes, what would they be?

“Never run out of pot, have clean socks every day, and have unlimited wishes.”

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