TABLOID HELL – SEPTEMBER 21 2001

Plus - The ginger mogul's future plans, Hear'say's hotel high jinks and The Mirror's Ever Vigilant 3am Girls just get better and better...

Chris Evans is coming back.

The obscenely wealthy but still very ginger husband of former teen starlet Billie Piper

has been away since he sometime in May. And now Chris – who is probably quite happy even though he has been on the dole for quite a number of weeks – since he went away in fact – tells The Sun (September 21): “I’m down but I’m not out. I want to get back and whatever I decide to do, it’ll be big.”

Chris, who could probably afford to buy a small country, or at the very least a big boat, used to be a DJ until he gave it up to do something else. He then made a lot of money, became a DJ again and got fired by a Virgin because he called her an old slapper, or such like. He then married Billie

in Las Vegas and lived happily ever after. It is unclear what Chris will do, though a source who is neither close to him nor likes him said: “How on earth should I know. I’ve seen him on the TV and heard about him and that wife of his, but I’m in the dark about his future plans. I have a mate called Chris Evans, but he’s an electrician from Broughshane. I doubt that he’s your man. Good footballer, though.”

Elsewhere, Hear’say

singer and dancers Danny, Noel and Myleene are pictured attending a swanky do at the Hilton Hotel in London, part of the Hilton Hotel group which includes the Paris Hilton in Paris. The two fellas look like they are having great time, just delighted to be able to go and get some free drink and fancy finger nibbles. However, Myleene looks cross and as the other two girls, the so called ‘Kym’ and so-called ‘Suzanne’ are not there either, it is obvious to anyone with a pair of eyes, reasonable IQ that the band are about to implode in an acrimonious struggle over the name and the future direction.

The Mirror’s Ever Vigilant 3am Girls, who are so good they even sometimes surprise themselves, reveal that Prime Minister Alastair Campbell was seen playing football in a park with his son, who is much younger than he is.

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