Ellie Goulding has spoken out about her battles with ‘paralysing’ anxiety attacks, and the methods she uses to control them.
The BRIT Award-winning singer-songwriter was speaking to Well + Good about how she uses fitness to overcome panic attacks and anxiety – revealing ‘the scariest part was it could be triggered by anything’.
She said that sometimes it was so bad, she was unable to leave the house.
“My new life as a pop star certainly wasn’t as glamorous as all my friends from home thought,” she said. “Secretly, I was really struggling physically and emotionally.
“I think part of what sparked my panic attacks was not feeling confident enough to believe in myself – I was scared I wasn’t as good of a singer as everyone thought I was. And as the stakes grew, I was afraid of letting everyone, including myself, down.”
Goulding went on to say that despite going through therapy, she would still struggle with anxiety: “Last year, I was asked to perform at the Grammys – a massive honour but, as you can imagine, pretty nerve-wracking. In the moments before I walked on that stage, I gave myself a good talking-to. I was annoyed for being paralysed with nerves every time I was about to perform on television. I told myself that this was exactly where I was supposed to be and if other people believed in me, I had to start believing in myself.”
Speaking of how she found results through fitness and exercise, she continued: “I love that extra kick of adrenaline. Keeping fit doesn’t mean spending hours at a gym; the key is to find a workout you really love. The more I started doing (boxing and kickboxing) classes and also working out with my trainer, Faisal Abdalla, the better I felt about myself.
“It wasn’t about any change in my outward appearance; it was about seeing and feeling myself get better and stronger. It carried over into other areas of my life, and now I truly feel that exercise – however you like to work out – is good for the soul.”
Goulding added: “It took time, but I’ve accepted that everyone feels nervous before they perform – it’s not just me. And now that I believe in myself more, that confidence comes through, whether I’m working out, singing onstage, or just hanging out by myself at home.”