TABLOID HELL – SEPTEMBER 26 2001

Plus - H from Steps' role in the crisis, Hairy Gelliwell is a failure and The Mirror's Ever Vigilant 3am Girls get invited to some wedding or other...

The world has righted itself.

According to The Sun (September 26), made for TV pop goliaths Hear’Say have made-up with made for TV would-be pop goliaths Liberty. The two sets of five singer and dancers had been at each others throats for the best part of days and it had appeared that they would say nasty things about each other for several more days. However, Kelli Young, lead guitarist and machinist with Liberty, tells The Sun: “I called Suzanne and she said they did not have a problem with us and hoped that we did not have a problem with them. It was the first time any of us have spoken to each other since ‘Popstars’ finished and it was really good to be able to clear the air.”

Hear’Say have not yet responded officially, though Noel from Hear’Say, the percussionist in the outfit, is understood to be relieved. He had feared the intervention of H from Steps. As revealed exclusively by Tabloidhell@nme.com yesterday (September 25), H from Steps has a background in counter-intelligence and covert military operations. “Noel from Hear’Say is a soft lad,” a bus conductor who has never met Noel from Hear’Say has said. “He sees H from Steps as an Action Man figure and knowing exactly what his Action Man figures can do, he was a bit scared. He has commando Action Man who has one of those sea-to-land multi-terrain crafts. He’s thinks it’s really brilliant.”

The Star reports that the Incredible Shrinking Woman, Hairy Gelliwell has been snubbed by organisers of the MTV Europe Awards. She has received no nominations for the November 8 event. She is not alone. Tabloid Hell has learned that one of the biggest bands of all time, The Beatles, have also been snubbed. “For fucks sake, who do these so-called MTV people think they are?” an angry Beatles fan said earlier. “The Beatles invented music. Without them, there would be no videos or such like. And probably men wouldn’t grow moustaches. This shows a flagrant disregard for what people actually like. I, for one, shan’t be watching so called music videos again.”

The Mirror’s Ever Vigilant 3am Girls prove again that they are really popular with people who are really famous because they have been invited to the wedding of Sara Cox and top DJ Jon Carter, who are famous. But the trio will have to stay away from the main reception because they’re not allowed past the roped off bit. They also reveal that Samantha Mumba was spotted shopping in a shop.

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