TABLOID HELL – SEPTEMBER 18 2001

Plus - 'Popstars' failures Liberty tell it like it is, Hear'say respond by baking Playdoh guitars and The
Mirror's Ever Vigilant 3am Girls make some serious Bob Geldof allegations...

Hear’Say

are damnable charlatans and frauds.

The singing and dancing five-piece, who

were made for television out of old television sets and Betamax video-recorders,

are in actual fact “just puppets”. They have been identified as a bunch of

fraudulent Pinocchio’s by Liberty, a band who

would have been Hear’Say

had they not lost the competition to be the best made for TV band and become

Liberty instead.

“We make music we want to, not what we’re

told to,” Michelle Heaton from Liberty tells

The Sun (September 18).

Hear’Say

are unlikely to take this slur lying down. The band, in the past, has been

involved in various stunts to show how involved they are with the creative

process. Noel, one of the Hear’Say

members, once shut himself in a block of ice for three days in order to come up

with a new tune that the band then recorded and made into a hit that was never

released, while racy mother of two Kym Marsh once baked a guitar

using children’s Playdoh and then wrote a song that was better than

‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’ but sounded a little like the

Simon & Garfunkel classic so they recorded that instead.

Liberty, as far as Tabloid Hell is

concerned, have never baked a guitar using Playdoh.

Elsewhere, The

Mirror’s Ever Vigilant 3am Girls today reveal that Bob

Geldof was spotted having lunch outside a restaurant in

London. An enraged Tabloid

Hell thought this to be untrue, and a perhaps even a vicious slur on the man

who can feed the entire world, just by thinking about it. So we telephoned a

source who never even watched Live Aid and had difficulty

pronouncing Geldof. When asked if Geldof would

sit and eat lunch, the source said: “Stop calling me, please. I have no idea what

you are talking about and I’m calling the police. You fucking mentalist wanker.”

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