"You can't say, 'I feel you.' You just can't."
In a new interview on Zane Lowe‘s Beats 1 show, the ‘when the party’s over’ singer, alongside her brother Finneas, discussed numerous topics, including depression, what it is she’s most proud of, and what life on the road with her family is like.
Starting off by discussing fame and the fact that so few can understand what it’s like, Eilish compared it to having a kid, losing someone to death, and depression. “There’s only a few people in the world that can understand this,” she explained. “There are some things in life that you just can’t understand unless you see it right in front of you.
“When someone you love loses someone very close to them, you can’t say, ‘I feel you.’ You just can’t. That’s okay. You don’t have to be like, ‘I understand,’ when you don’t. It’s just about listening. I feel like some people just try to act like they know, but just listen. It’s not about trying to up their depression. It’s not about who’s sadder, who’s gone through worse. It’s about listening to people and actually just caring about them.”
The US singer-songwriter, who recently became the youngest ever female solo act in UK chart history to go in at Number One with her new album, ‘When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?’, talked about what it is she’s currently most proud of.
“Probably the fan base,” she admitted. “I think it’s just an army of really people, and open minded people. I feel like if I said I’m proud of it, it almost sounds like I’m the only reason it exists. It’s not true. It’s them. These kids came over here. I’m not like, ‘Hello, I’m over here. Come …’ You know what I’m saying?”
Discussing her own experience with someone being proud of her, Eilish said: “While we were growing up, never being told that anyone was proud of us. Our parents never said, ‘I’m proud of you.’ Never, not once. Not once. For us, we took it personally. We took it like, ‘Oh my God, our parents they’re not proud of us.’ But I feel like I’m understanding more and more as I get older is that it was more like our parents didn’t want us to feel like them being proud of us was the only way that we could accomplish things. So, if I said that I’m proud of something that I’ve done, I don’t want to say that because I’ve learned from what I grew up being but hurt about, and how it’s actually turned out to be kind of good in a way.”
Watch the full interview below:
With her brother in tow, Eilish also discussed family and how being on the road together wasn’t “something to dwell about.”
“We can’t have this be the rest of our lives,” she admitted. “We were talking about it the other day, we’re just like, ‘I’m 17, dude.’ I can’t have my life exactly like this forever, and he can’t either. He’s just become an adult. He just got a house. He has a girlfriend and wants a dog. You know what I’m saying? It’s a weird balance, because I want to grow in my life, and grow up and have a life. But I already have my career….Having been on tour, I know how it works. I know that you leave and it’s a little bit of your friends being sad. Then, you’re gone for long enough that life moves on and they keep doing things.”
Fines added: “We have a love hate relationship with tour. Yup, it’s lonely. It’s lonely with your whole family around. It’s weird. I think you’re absolutely right. I felt so lucky to be with my sister, because we’re best friends and everything. But even then, if we’re both feeling isolated, and we’re both feeling low, neither one of us is going to be able to reach down and pull the other one out from that.”
Remembering the time she met Beatles legend McCartney over the phone, she said: “I was in a meeting with Stella McCartney and she FaceTimed her dad, who is Paul McCartney! My mom cried, my dad cried.”