Kang Daniel says ‘Yellow’ expresses his struggles with mental health

"I felt like I shouldn’t do anything at all. I shouldn’t speak or move"

Kang Daniel has revealed that his new mini-album ‘Yellow’, which completes his ‘Color’ trilogy, depicts a period in his life where he was a subject of constant cyberbullying.

In a new, wide-ranging interview with DAZED, the K-pop star he wanted to “express what it felt like to explode” on ‘Yellow’, following constant scrutiny from the public on social media. It’s seemingly in reference to the three-month hiatus he took in November 2019 due to depression, anxiety and panic disorder shortly, in order to focus on his mental health.

At the time, the singer had voiced his frustrations in a fancafe post: “How they edit everything to make me look bad. How the music and performances that I love are being treated like trash, how the fans that I love are being ridiculed… how it’s suddenly become a crime to say that they like me, just everything is really too difficult. The fact that I am me is too difficult.”

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Kang said that at the beginning of his music career, he had paid the detractors no mind, calling it part of his “job” as a celebrity. However, as time went on, he felt the negative comments were “hard to ignore” and started to outweigh the good. “Reading those, I was getting more and more annoyed,” he said.

“So I felt like I shouldn’t do anything at all. I shouldn’t speak or move,” Kang added. “But what really touched me was that everyone from my company visited me at least once. I realised that I wasn’t looking at the people closest to me. Although you live life alone, really, people are all connected. They affect you in positive ways.”

As Kang Daniel makes his return as a solo artist, he says he no longer feels the weight that used to bring him down, but rather has learned to deal with it in healthier ways. “I don’t think I’ve changed, but feel like there has been a change. I still read bad comments but, because I was able to overcome them once, I can just deal with it now,” he said

“There’s a certain way to do that, and I trust myself and the people around me to help,” the singer acknowledged. “There are good days and bad days but there’s always a reason to live. There’s good things about life and that’s what I look for.”

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