"We do not condone the un-consensual tickling of Tories"
Killdren, the band recently kicked off the Glastonbury line-up in the wake of a backlash to their track ‘Kill Tory Scum (Before They Kill You)’, have now returned with the response track ‘Tickle Tory Chums (Before They Tickle You). See it first on NME below.
The band had been due to appear at the Shangri-Hell International TV stage on Friday June 28, a tent organised by Glastonbury’s Shangri-La promoters. However, last month saw their performance pulled due to the single’s controversial lyrics. “We in no way condone violence and will not allow this matter to overshadow the incredibly inclusive spirit of Glastonbury,” said a Shangri-La spokesperson.
Now, after revealing that they’ve received death threats and argued that their music and message has been “misrepresented by the right-wing press“, the band have responded to their critics with a new parody track and video.
In a statement behind the track, the band said:
“Bruce Manhood, manager of Killdren, was deeply regretful that last week’s media shit-storm brought his clients such negative PR – following Glastonbury’s decision to drop the band from their otherwise peaceful line-up because of ‘violent’ lyrics. Bruce’s top-drawer management and business acumen meant Killdren now had instructions to remedy the dire situation via the medium of song.
“Manhood instructed his artists to come up with a less violent version of the song, to try and redeem their now-tainted name; and so the two-bit rave punk band are releasing a further satirical song to counterbalance their original satirical work ‘Kill Tory Scum (Before They Kill You)’ that caused all the hoo-haa. We thus present to you: ‘Bruce Manhood presents: Killdren presents ‘Tickle Tory Chums (Before They Tickle You)’*
“Before the unveiling of this new revision, of what was already a two-year-old video travesty resurrected from the annals of the YouTubes, Killdren have also succumbed to suggestions from their more right-of-centre fans from the Interwebs – who helpfully suggested some alternative versions that could offend and potentially alienate a whole new fanbase.
“On this point – never let it be said that Killdren don’t want to be offensive to absolutely everyone – regardless of race, colour or creed. It’s just that the busy throng of Tunbridge Wells, and oodles of trust-fund cash-money, keeps the band extremely busy – and basically some people deserve getting more shit, OK?
“*Neither Killdren, or Mr Manhood, condone the un-consensual tickling of Tories.”
Check out the video below.
The band’s appearance on the bill was criticised by The Jo Cox Foundation, the anti-violence organisation established after Labour MP Jo Cox was murdered by a far-right protestor in her constituency in Birstall, West Yorkshire in 2016. The Foundation called the track ‘Kill Tory Scum’ “completely abhorrent”. Killdren said that they were sad to have upset the foundation.
“What happened to Jo Cox was obviously disgusting and a horrific crime,” Killdren told NME following their cancellation. “As our video for ‘Kill Tory Scum (Before They Kill You)’ says, ‘We do not condone the killing of MPs’ and we are sorry to have upset people at The Jo Cox Foundation.
“However, we do not equate our video as being anywhere as dangerous as right-wing media platforms, as well as politicians like Nigel Farage, Boris Johnson and Donald Trump who are given mainstream media platforms to spread their hate against migrants, people of colour, the disabled, the LGBTQ community etc. It’s worth stating that anti-fascism, in any form, only exists because of fascism in the first place. Most people (certainly not us) would rather not waste their lives defending basic human rights – that the growing far-right are happy to strip away.””
The band went on: “For example, the recent milkshake dowsing phenomenon is something of a pacifist reaction if you consider the shooting and stabbing of Jo Cox. It is a form of humiliation that only damages their pride, and maybe their tailored suits. Our video is also supposed to be tongue-in-cheek and silly to draw attention to the violence of Tory policies whilst using satire to undermine the individuals that promote these ideologies. Some people seem to find it confusing to distinguish between the hard-left (excluding totalitarian communism, of course) and the hard-right.”