Which song describes you best?
, because I’m footloose and rootsy.”
What is heaven?
“The boating lake in Regent’s Park, a bottle of wine dangling off a piece of string, to the strains of a brass band, with the one you love doing the rowing.”
What is hell?
“When you discover that the water in the bottom of the boat is a leak.”
What is your earliest memory? “Weeing in a saucepan.”
What is your greatest fear?
“My greatest fears are heights and claustrophobia, so I suppose it would be being stuck in a glass lift on the 132nd floor.”
Who is your all-time hero?
“I don’t have one.”
What’s the worst trouble you’ve been in?
“The odd occasion when I haven’t been able to communicate as well as I might with my family.”
Who was the first love of your life?
“My wife, Anne
What’s your greatest talent?
“Lyric-writing and performing.”
Upon whom would you most like to exact revenge? Why? How?
“On me, for being such an arsehole. I’d kick myself, but I can’t. My legs aren’t long enough.”
What’s your most treasured possession?
“A copy of ‘Cry Me A River’
by Julie London
. It’s on the jukebox in my home, and when I first got married it was the only record I had and we would play it every night.”
What have you most regretted doing while drunk?
“Pretending I wasn’t.”
What can you cook?
“Pheasant stew and risotto.”
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve received?
“‘You should go home.'”
Can you read music?
“No. But when I hear records I see shapes and colours.”
If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
“I’d put the clock back 20 years, and then enjoy it all over again.”
If you had three final wishes, what would they be?
“That I could have a never-ending bottle of beer; that people genuinely realised how enjoyable life is; and that everybody could meet in Trafalgar Square and shake hands.”