Of Mice & Men frontman Austin Carlile has opened up about his battle with a rare disease, discussing his faith and revealing that he once attempted suicide.
Earlier this week, Austin delivered a devastating message to fans in which he admitted that he ‘won’t get better’. This came after the band were forced to cut short their European tour so that Carlile could fly home for treatment for Marfan Syndrome – a rare fibrostic connective tissue disorder that painfully causes his body to seize up.
Now during a chat with fans on Twitter to help raise awareness of Marfan Syndrome, he’s opened up about his daily struggles and what keeps him going.
“Honestly if I didn’t have my personal relationship with Jesus Christ I wouldn’t be able to do this,” said Carlile. “When my mother died I was SO angry at him and fell away from my faith. It took years of him pulling me back into his loving arms. I was miserable without him.”
He continued: “I fell into depression, addiction, violence, promiscuous sex, and I even attempted suicide actually … I’ve never shared that until now. I wanted to end the daily pain and end the hurt and the loss, but somehow I held on and now that I’ve fallen back to him and living IN love, and showing OTHERS LOVE, and LOVING HOW HE LOVED, man, my life has turned around.”
Carlile added: “My body still hurts, I still get sad, life can still ‘totally suck, bro,’ but I know this is all temporary, and that I can trust in my God to always be there for me. He always has. I’m simply following his lead and path and doing my best to share my story with others. If I can do it with his help, anyone can.
Check out his full statement below.
— Austin Carlile (@austincarlile) December 1, 2016
Earlier this week, the frontman told fans: “FYI you don’t “get better” w/ Marfans. You GET BY. I’ve had foot, ear, rib, head, hip, back, & heart surgeries just so I can function/live. All of you saying I should hurry up & get better what’s taking so long. I’ll never be better. you happy? I live EACH DAY as it comes. Each day is a battle. Marfan Syndrome is a fibrostic connective tissue disorder, that means it affects your ENTIRE BODY, and IT. IS. PAINFUL.”
He continued: “I don’t cry on Twitter on all the bad days. I suck it up & keep pushing on. The rare good days?!… I CHERISH those more than you could ever understand. & I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. This is why I have such a heart for those hurting, mentally OR physically, because I. AM. TOO.”