Wee Stuart on life, love and 'Rama Lama Fa Fa Fa' by the MC5...

Which song describes you best?

‘Rama Lama Fa Fa Fa’ by the MC5.”

What is heaven?


“Twenty-four-hour access to a skate park with an endless supply of Irn-Bru and a jukebox with the Joy Division box set on it.”

What is hell?

“Being forced to go to the dentist and Gay Dad being on the radio in the waiting room.”

What is your earliest memory?

“I remember jumping down four or five flights of stairs and just floating about two feet above the stairs. All of us can remember being able to fly when we were young! I realised I wasn’t able to fly any more when I jumped through a plate glass door when I was four.”

What is your greatest fear?


“Illness or unhappiness to the people that I care about.”

Who is your all-time hero?

“I’m in awe of David Pajo (Yank lo-fi guru). He is a benchmark that all musicians should look to.”

What’s the worst trouble you’ve been in?

“I knocked down an old lady about four years ago. She was drunk and she walked out in front of me; she came right up on to the bonnet. It was one of the most upsetting things that’s ever happened to me. She badly grazed her leg.”

Who was the first love of your life?

“I would have to say wee Adele. Or Princess Leia.”

What is your greatest talent?

“I can do the guitar solo from ‘One’ by Metallica, and I can do a double kick flip.”

Upon whom would you most like to exact revenge? Why? How?

“I really have a big chip on my shoulder about the Queen. I think that her like have been taking the out of Britain for too long. It’s really sad that someone by birthright should be the richest person in the country when there’s people without houses. I would probably chop her feet off.”

What is your most treasured possession?

“I’ve got a couple of things: a of me and Poison Ivy (The Cramps); a signed photo to Mogwai from Darth Vader, David Prowse.

What have you most regretted doing while drunk?

“Once I was so drunk I was actually unconscious, and our bass player, Dominic, got off with me for $5.”

What can you cook?

“Baked atoes, grilled things, simple pasta dishes. I wouldn’t starve, but I wouldn’t boast either.”

Can you read music?

“I know what the notes are called and where they are.”

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve received?

“Don’t eat where you .”

If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?

“I’d go and hang out around (Mogwai manager) Colin‘s office and see what he says!”

What are your final three wishes?

“That we’re still able to make music in 20 years’ time, that my sad friends would cheer up and that I can go to the premiere of the new Star Wars film!”

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