THE FIRST RECORD YOU CAN REMEMBER
Noel: ‘Ticket To The Ride’ (The Beatles). I wasn’t really analysing music then so I don’t know why I liked it. I suppose the first record I really liked was ‘Anarchy In The UK’ by The Sex Pistols because it was angry and loud.
Liam: Peters And Lee ‘It Was You Who Tripped Me Up’. You c—.
A SONG THAT REMINDS YOU OF SCHOOL
Noel: ‘Going Underground’ by The Jam. I’ve got good memories of the record but bad memories of school because I fucking hated it and everyone else who was in our class. And the teachers. But there was one dinner lady who was a fine lady and that was our mam. But I was glad that I left the year that he (Liam) joined.
Liam: ‘Hey Teacher Leave Those Kids Alone’ (Pink Floyd). (Actually called Another Brick In The Wall Part Two – Ed) Before I get me dad in to sort you out!
RECORD YOU FELL IN LOVE TO
Noel: Er, not sure about that one, um…
Liam: Right, well here’s my one. (Picks up tape player and shouts into the mic) WHICH ONE? THERE WERE SO FUCKING MANY!!! He can’t say that, I can now.
Noel: You’ll fucking regret that. Me, I wouldn’t like to say. Probably something shit like…
Liam: Leave it, leave it at that.
Noel:…‘The Bitterest Pill’ (by The Jam).
Liam: He’s the taking the piss out of me now!
Noel: I’m not!
Liam: Yer are you cheeky bastard! I know! I know! (picks up mic) ‘The Morning After’….. Pill.
Noel: ‘Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life’
Liam: ‘Perfect Day’ by whatshisname, Lou Reed.
Noel: ‘Ticket To Ride’ is a pretty good heartbreak tune, innit?
Liam: What’s he mean by heartbreak tune?
Noel: Record that reminds you of feeling sad when a bird’s leaving you.
Liam: Aaaaaaaah…..it’s a ‘Perfect Day’. D’yer geddit, kids? Anyone fancy a pint?
Noel: You’re gonna pay for that when this comes out.
Liam: No I won’t, no I won’t, no I won’t!
Noel: Fucking will!
Liam: Fucking won’t, mate. It’s a perfect day, what can I say. That’s me heartbreak record.
SONG THAT EVOKES THE GREATEST SUMMER OF YOUR LIFE
Liam: Dodgy – ‘Going Out For The Summer’.
Noel: Is it fuck! Don’t say that! He didn’t mean that. Liam (tries to throw tape player into adjacent fishtank.) Ginger-haired c—! (Stops.) What, a perfect summer? ‘She Bangs The Drum’ by The Stone Roses.
Noel: I’d go along with that, definitely.
Liam: That whole album. Best summer ever. Mad for it. Ask me the next one, yer c—.
ANTHEM FOR A NIGHT ON THE TILES
Noel: You’ve not heard it yet. It’s one of our new ones, you wait.
Liam: Yeah, leave it at that. We’re out of season now, man.
Noel: Yeah, one of our new ones…..
Liam: Leave it at that!!!
Noel: Okay. It’s not my band.
Liam: Who’s band is it?
Noel: Your band.
Liam: Did you hear that?! It’s my band!! It’s my band!! Are you recording this, Mister Journalist? It’s my band!
Noel: It’s your band.
Liam: Hang on a minute….It’s not my band now we’re shit and nobody likes us! It was my band when we were popular! You sneaky bastard! (aims kick at
RECORD THAT INSPIRED YOU TO FORM A BAND
Noel: Stone Roses‘ first album
Liam: One of his.
Noel: You were in the band before me, you daft c—!
Liam: Alright, alright. But it was still one of your songs that made us start the band.
Noel: Oh yeah, so it is my band after all.
Liam: Right. ‘When The Levee Breaks’ (Led Zep).
Noel: Also ‘The Queen Is Dead’ (The Smiths).
Liam: PistolRosespunkspunknewave. Music.
RECORD GUARANTEED TO CLEAR THE TOUR BUS
Noel: Any of Bonehead’s, Cocteau Twins, Sugarcubes, Stranglers, Flock Of Seagulls, Classix Nouveau, Split Enz, Kajagoogoo…
Liam: I’m going to be a right hard bastard now and say anything by fucking fat arsed Williams. You can quote me on that! (wheels away boxing the air) WHO WANTS IT?!!
Noel: Tubby arsed Williams.
Liam: Tubby arsed Williams. And quote me on that, right? That’s from me, not him. Anything by Robbie fucking Williams. Alright?
Noel: Not that we’ve ever played anything by him on the bus.
Liam: No fucking way! But if they played it I’d fucking run off. I’d rather walk. I’d rather be in the fucking trailor. I’d rather trail the fucking trailor!
MIDNIGHT ON NEW YEAR’S EVE. WHAT’S ON THE HI-FI?
Noel: Not ‘Millenium’ by Robbie Williams. Er, probably one of ours. Probably that one that we can’t tell you about.
Liam: I’ll be playing myself. Or the glockenspeil.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Noel: ‘Going Underground’.
Liam: ‘There’s A Natural Mystic Floating Through The Air’ by Bob Marley (grabs nme.com by the groin, kisses nme.com on the cheek and stomps off).