Ozzy Osbourne says he ‘can’t wipe his own arse’ following hand surgery

Osbourne cancelled a handful of shows after the emergency surgery

Ozzy Osbourne has opened up about the every day difficulties following his recent hand surgery.

The rocker was forced to cancel a handful of shows on his current No More Tours 2 Tour dates following emergency surgery on his hand at Los Angeles’ Cedars-Sinai hospital.

Osbourne recently revealed that the hand surgery was part of potentially deadly staph infection. He went to the emergency room after his thumb became swollen. “I didn’t feel sick, so I was cracking jokes,” he told Rolling Stone.

Doctors discovered that he had three separate staph infections in his thumb, one of which spread to his middle finger. “The doctor said, ‘I don’t know if you realize, Mr. Osbourne, this is a very serious problem you have.’ Sharon said, ‘Would you stop fucking making jokes?’ So I said, ‘Well, it’s my hand.” But “they’re all extremely, deadly serious about it,” he recounted. “I judge it based on the expression and the body language of the doctor. If he comes in with a really solemn face, I go, ‘Oh, OK. My time to go is up.’”

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Feeling better after surgery. Ice cream helps

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Following the surgery, Osbourne has joked about the impact of the procedure. “I haven’t been able to do anything,” he said. “I’m right-handed. You can’t wipe your own ass. And I didn’t have many fucking volunteers who would do it for me.”

He also described the procedure itself. “You put your thumb in front of your face on your right hand, they went in by the side of the nail on the left side for the flesh under the nail. Even with the numbing stuff, it was agony,” he said.

“It wasn’t pus, but it was the stage after pus, when it gets in the blood and goes in your body and fucking kills you. It could have been a lot worse. I could have been dead.”