What they think about going bald, being short and getting tattoos...

Day 2 of our PLACEBO Q&A finds the band answering the really BIG questions about life, the universe and everything. And baldness and tattoos.

Are you going bald, then, or what? (Bloody Panda, London)

(Unselfconscious laughter is heard from the rhythm section.)


Brian: “Who me? No, I’ve always been a bit thin up here. If it’s one of these (indicates nascent tonsure) then you can pretend to be a monk for a while to accentuate it, like Stipey did. Then you shave it all off.”

Stefan: “It’s true. He’s been like that ever since I’ve known him. I’m balding. I’ve got a bit of a patch up here, and it’s all going to be receding. Over the last couple of months it’s really been freaking me out.”

Someone wants to write your biography. What would you call it and what would be the first lie you told about your life? (Jennifer Mitchell, No address supplied)

Steve: “If someone was writing my biography, then I’d definitely want it called Getting Away With It, except I think someone’s done that already (That’ll be the BOY GEORGE autobiography – Ed).”

Brian: “I’d call it I’m Just A Soul Whose Intentions Are Good. Oh, Lord Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood. The truth is stranger than any lies we could come up with. And more obscene.”

Stefan: “Oh, I’d call it Take Me Away From All These People.”


Do you mind being short? (Emma Louise Symonds, Wrexham)

Brian: “No, not really. I would like to be taller, but I guess being short and small is one of the first things that drew me towards girls’ clothes, because they fit me much better, and there’s so much more variation. They’re just funkier, there’s more that you can do with them. The way that they’re cut is usually more flattering, and they’re usually available in pint-size size, which is good.”

Which fictional character in literature or films would describe you best? (Sarah Bradbury, Surrey)

Brian: “Holden Caulfield (in JD SALINGER‘s The Catcher In The Rye), maybe. Just for the feeling of alienation. The only thing Holden Caulfield wants to do throughout this whole book is to call this girl, and he never manages to call her, he never manages to get through. And that sums up my life quite well.”

What or whom are you nothing without? (Naomi Kent, Lincoln University)

Brian: “You know, that’s about someone I used to go out with really, and that was like me exorcising the guilt of that failed relationship which I was mainly responsible for. But I’m also nothing without these two. At the moment spliff and minibars, because we just go from bus to minibar to bed.”

Steve: “I’m nothing without a coffee machine, fresh coffee and a mobile phone.”

Stefan: “My bed. Because I’m sleeping about 15 hours a night at the moment.”

How do you want to die? (Andrew Clarke, Middlesex)

Steve: “In my sleep, and definitely not on an aeroplane.”

Stefan: “In oblivion.”

Brian: “I’d be interested in finding out if there is a light which you walk into, and if you do meet people from your life and walk hand in hand with JESUS. I would hate for my death to be tragic: I’d like to be old when it happens. But hopefully a young death is unlikely.”

What was your most pure morning? (Laura Jones, Treforest, Wales)

Stefan: “We were in Cologne and we went to this most amazing rave party, and we got back at 8am and smoked reefers the size of the… tourbus, basically with some German mates.”

Brian: “I spent two hours with my feet above the ground at that party. I thought I could fly. It was really lovely. I saw the sun come up this morning.”

Stefan: “I haven’t seen the sun for a couple of days. How is it?”

Brian: “Still the same.”

What do your parents think of your band and image? (Clair, Margate)

Steve: “My mum was pretty blown away. My dad’s pretty blown away too now, though it took him long enough to get his head round it. He used to want me to get a proper job. They take the image in their stride.”

Brian: “They’re getting used to it. I think the fear is slowly turning into pride: I think they were quite perturbed in the beginning, but they’re coming round to it. I was always a bit of a loose cannon, then again I was always the artistic one: bit of a social misfit. I probably still am.”

What song makes you cry? (Rex, Bristol)

Brian: “‘Nature Boy’ by NAT KING COLE and ‘Ne Me Quitte Pas’ by JACQUES BREL.”

Steve: “‘Montague Terrace (In Blue)’ by SCOTT WALKER.”

Stefan: “‘The Winner Takes It All’, by ABBA.”

If you were going to have a tattoo, what would you have and where? (Melanie, Essex)

Steve: “I was going to have a PRINCE symbol done once, but I’m bloody glad I changed my mind. I’d love one of those old sailor busty maiden ones. Tits everywhere. Be fucking ace.”

Brian: “I’d probably have a little demon tattooed on my shoulder.”

Stefan: “I’d probably have a snake on my shoulder blade.”

Click back tomorrow for more Placebo Q&A fun.

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