Queen‘s Brian May has admitted that he contemplated suicide after Freddie Mercury passed away in 1991.
The guitarist, who also lost his father around the same time that Mercury died, said he felt like he “didn’t want to live” in the months following the deaths.
May told The Daily Mail:
I regarded myself as completely sick. I was wounded and very much in pieces. I went into a serious depression – I was subsumed by feelings of loss. Being in a touring band puts your friends and family on hold. You’re focused on one thing: the band. When that finishes you’re out on a limb. The band finished, so there was a terrible feeling of loss. The band was my family. We lost Freddie and my dad died at almost the same time. I didn’t want to love – I’d lost myself completely.
The band celebrated Mercury‘s life last week, with a series of tributes, including a number of high profile video tributes, with Foo Fighters‘ drummer Taylor Hawkins, My Chemical Romance singer Gerard Way and Katy Perry among those who contributed.
May also spoke about the latter days of the singer’s life and how ultimately Mercury opted to stop taking medication and accepted he would die of an AIDS-related illness.
He said the next generation will be the ones to beat this. And the sad thing is, if it had been 12 months later he might have been OK, when combination drug therapy came in. But he was getting frail and he decided to come off all the medication apart from painkillers. Freddie loved life. He lived it to the full. And towards the end, when he realised it was no longer fun, he decided to come off medication. He was suffering, and sadly there was no way out.