"I've got a disease that wants to kill me and it's in my head"
Robbie Williams has spoken about his struggles with mental health issues, describing himself as battling with a disease in his head that wants to “kill” him.
“Fortunately and unfortunately, left to my own devices, I’m inclined to sabotage everything,” Robbie said. “I’ve got a disease that wants to kill me and it’s in my head, so I have to guard against that.”
“Sometimes it overwhelms me and sometimes it’s a tool I need to get on stage. Sometimes I live in bliss and it’s wonderful.”
“But most of the time I’m human — having a human experience, trying to deal with the trials and tribulations of what goes on between my ears.”
“The things I’ve put myself through, I’ve been close to… It’s like, ‘By the grace of God go I’. It’s been so close so many times.”
Last December, Williams spoke to NME about society’s increased openness to talk about depression and mental health, saying: “Back in the day, you didn’t know what’s going on with yourself; you just knew that you were living in your head and you didn’t understand what it was.”
“You’d heard words that are called ‘depression’, but you didn’t equate that with what’s going on with you. There wasn’t anything really in the media to describe what I was going through or how I was feeling.”
“When it was described – not particularly about me but me whenever it was brought up – it was kind of like, ‘Well, can’t snowflake pull his socks up and get on with it?’. That did feel shaming. It was like, ‘Well, I’m still trying to come to terms with what this is and I feel bad. Should I pull my socks up?’.”
“It just made me more introverted. Now it’s different. I turn on the TV and people are talking about these things all the time, and it’s more accepted.”
Elsewhere in his Sun interview, Williams also said that he “misses” George Michael, who passed away in December 2016.
Robbie described their friendship as “acquaintances who were fond and bitchy about each other”.
Williams said that his struggles with addiction means that he’s been on “a very similar roller-coaster” to Michael.
“Was it 2016 when everybody popped off? It was just a dreadful year,” Williams said, “all of everybody’s heroes disappear, you’re realising you’re not immortal and never more so than being 43 having two kids.”
“It was just a dreadful thing to happen and I miss him,” he added of Michael.
Meanwhile, Robbie Williams recently revealed that he underwent serious treatment after a brain abnormality hospitalised him last September.