Geri Halliwell stops her ottomans disappearing, and H from Steps hunts Mark Lamarr...
The Incredible Shrinking Woman, Hairy Gelliwell thoroughly enjoys yoga.
It has changed her life from what it was before to something that it is now and may become in the future unless it changes again. So much does the former Spice Girl, who left to sell solo records until she decided to give up selling records and instead become a dog rising at dawn to milk cows slowly – a well-known yoga position in yoga – love yoga that she is also changing her name to Geri Yoga. She is releasing a video of her doing yoga called ‘Geri Yoga’. Speaking to today’s Mirror (October 22), Gelliwell also reveals that in the past, “if I had one chip, I’d want to eat the whole house”.
“Those were crazy times,” a man explains. “Geri would grab one chip and then she’d be off. On a good day she’d only eat a two-seater leather sofa and an occasional table and maybe a vase. But then she’d switch her attentions to whole rooms. We had to do a runner from a place in London’s fashionable Notting Hill because she was left alone for an afternoon and got through a bathroom, bedroom and study/library. Then she went on a diet and wouldn’t eat anything but moon dust for a week. She used to be fucking crazy. I’m delighted she’s discovered that yoga is so brilliant because she was turning into a boll weevil.”
Meanwhile, The Sun reports that Faye Tozer, lead guitarist with Steps, was hounded for love by top television funny presenter and man Mark Lamarr. “He would phone me all the time to go for drinks. I went a couple of times as friends but he became totally full on,” Faye, who is also the group’s head of security, reveals. Tabloid Hell has learnt that H from Steps, a special operative with a thorough grounding in covert anti-terrorism techniques who is currently a special advisior to Tony Blair’s war cabinet, is furious that Lamarr chased his bandmate so long.
“H from Steps is raging,” a woman said. “I’m not convinced Lamarr knows what he’s up against. It could get very messy. H from Steps very much believes in an all-for-one, one-for-all mentality. Even though he is an outsider who plays against the rules but gets the job done even if his chief is left exasperated having to explain to the suits why things happened the way they did, he feels that if funny presenter and man Lamarr was chasing his band mate Faye for a date he was also chasing H from Steps from a date. He’s also growing a beard at the minute because he can. Lamarr better watch it.”
The Mirror’s Ever-Vigilant 3am Girls today reveal that Jools Holland was seen in a car.
Click here Tabloidhell@nme.com for God’s opinion on the Premier League title race.