Tabloid Hell: Alicia Keys not a lady lover

She says she’s 'straight' alright?

Alicia Keys has said she is not a lover of ladies.

The singer-songwriter has dismissed those ‘gay’ rumours with a loud and proud declaration she isn’t. At. All.

According to the tabs she said: “I’m as straight as they come.”

Well, that’s settled it then, right?

The tabs go on the qualify the point by posting pictures of Alicia in a skimpy swimsuit.

Because a lesbian wouldn’t do that, right?

Oh, hang on, we think we’ve just dropped 300 IQ points.