Tabloid Hell: Madonna goes ‘hands-free’

The superstar gets and extra special present…

“Music makes the people come together” sang Madonna a while back, but it’s not just sweet melody that can give the ageing pop queen and her fella, Guy Ritchie, a bit of symbiotic pleasure.

No, glance in the red-tops today (September 12) and you’ll see pap shots of Madge proudly striding out of a swanky London hotel carrying a Purple Penetrator: the sex toy that, according to the official blurb, gives “perfect, hands-free pleasure for both partners”.

Now the shaft has got the Madonna seal of approval expect it to fly off the shelves faster, although on her blog the singer admitted it wasn’t necessarily her choice.

She said: “Yes, that’s a Purple Penetrator in the bag! Every year at our birthday parties we give each other gag gifts. Please don’t make anything more of it than that!” she explained. “If you want to purchase one; however, you can get them [at Ann Summers]. Purple Penetrator… that would be a cool name for the new album…NOT!!!”