What song describes you best?
“Morrissey‘s ‘Wide To Receive’. It has a line, ‘I don’t get along with myself/And I’m not too keen on anyone else’.”
What is heaven?
“A record store that has every album I’ve ever dreamed of.”
What is hell?
“To be locked in a room that’s painted baby blue, full of cats and balloons, and has our live album being played forever.”
What is your first memory?
“I was waving goodbye to my father who was going off to a job, and he smashed the door on my thumb. I lost a nail and cried as I was only three.”
Who is your all-time hero?
“Neil Young. A man that buys a herd of buffalo with his money is worth loving.”
What’s the worst trouble you’ve been in?
“Once I was interrogated by the police, suspected of having smashed in a lot of windows with a bat. I was innocent; I was only 13. Somebody just mentioned my name because I happened to be in the area. Somebody just wanted to get me.”
Who was the first love of your life?
“My best friend’s older brother. I used to ring on the door and ask for him instead of her. He was four years older, but I was only four myself!”
Upon whom would you most like to exact revenge? How?
“My father forced me to tennis train when I was seven, and I had a coach, a really horrible young man. I was realIy cross-eyed so I didn’t hit the ball. He said to my parents that they’d have to take me out of the class because I was terrible and very ugly. I’d put a couple of tennis balls, a racket, a net and a couple of tennis judges up his arse.”
What’s your greatest talent?
“Running. I was awful in gym at school, but I always won the annual running competition.”
What’s your most treasured possession?
” My record collection. It’s alphabetically ordered as I’m fanatical, although I’m quite embarrassed because I’ve got a serious Simple Minds collection.”
What have you most regretted doing while drunk?
“A lot of bad sex.”
What can you cook?
“Very little, but I’m a star at making lasagne. And I can boil corn very well.”
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve received?
“I was in Nashville going to buy a pair of cowboy boots, and the salesman said, ‘You’d better wiggle them toes there sweetheart.’ That was really good advice, or they wouldn’t fit.”
Can you read music?
“Barely, but I want to learn.”
If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
“I’d steal cars. I’d go to somewhere like California and try to steal some nice station wagons. When I’m in the car I could also hit some people that I don’t like.”
What are your three final wishes?
“Love me, love me, and say that you love me.”