TABLOID HELL – OCTOBER 2 2001

Plus - Posh Spice lies down too, Kylie stands up and TV gardeners go holidaying in Rome...

Kerry and Bryan are back.

The pair, one of whom used to be pregnant until she had her baby, are seen in all the red tops (October 2) with the baby, Molly, who only recently became born.

Bryan is better known to fans as the rhythm guitarist in top rating ever-sitting boyband Westlife, and will stun those who know him by being pictured lying down. Tabloid Hell has learned that big Bryan, who had the baby with girlfriend Kerry even though she gave birth to the baby some nine months after becoming pregnant, was only too delighted to lie down. “He’s cock-a-fucking-hoop,” a man said. “For his entire career he’s been known as one of five who sit down. Now he’ll be known as the one who lies down while the other four sit down. He thinks the baby is brilliant as well. I asked him what the baby was like and he said ‘brilliant’. Kerry is fairly delighted as well. You can tell by the smile. Everyone’s delighted, in fact. God bless, them.”

Not to be outdone, Posh Spice Victoris Beckingham is also pictured lying down in The Sun. In the picture, she is seen reclining with her eyes closed wearing a new bathing costume. Tabloid Hell has heard that Posh saw the interest generated by Bryan lying down and decided to get some of the action herself. “Victoris is always keen to explore new directions in her career,” a man said. “This is not something she has gone into blindly and certainly not a way to copy Bryan, who she doesn’t know but respects and likes. She thought about lying down months ago after she did that song with the lardy bloke who used to be in that band, but the climate wasn’t right. There’s been a movement towards lying down in music of late and though no one has really embraced it, Victoris is always keen to remain ahead of the pack and be innovative. I couldn’t honestly say just when she’ll be lying down again, but I don’t think it will be giving too much away to say that fans who come to her personal appearances in the coming weeks will be treated to some scenes of Victoris not standing up. Or sitting for that matter!”

The Mirror’s Ever Vigilant 3am Girls carry a photo of Kylie Minogue standing up. They also reveal that television gardener Alan Titchmarsh was spotted sightseeing in Rome.

So long.

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