More Millennium secrets....

Where will you be spending New Year’s Eve this year?

On the M6 hitching to Crewe.

What do you feel about the coming of the new Millennium?


What’s your favourite invention of the last 1000 years?

Hotel milk.

What hasn’t been invented yet that should have been?

The word Clampserntozennsosonson

You’ve got 90 minutes to live before the Y2K apocalypse what’s on your stereo?

‘Tomorrow Never Knows’ The Beatles, ‘Bodies’ Sex Pistols, ‘Teenage Lobotomy’ Ramones, ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’ Simon & Garfunkel, ‘Stay Free’ The Clash, ‘The Mercy Seat’ Nick Cave & Bad Seeds, ‘A Forest’ The Cure, ‘Marion’ Sisters Of Mercy ‘Redemption Song’ Bob Marley, ‘We’ve Only Just Begun’ The Carpenters plus some Ivor Cutler poetry and a boys choir singing Xmas carols.

If we survive, how will you celebrate New Year’s Day and what will your resolutions be for the rest of the year?

On the A66 hitching to Workington. Resolutions: 1. Not to throw harmless kestrels nto the River Ouse. 2. To smell better. 3. To find my old headmaster and apologize for not murdering him. 4. To do a sponsored walk to raise money for homeless geese. 5. To eat my own face.