‘Sherlock’ writer responds to new series criticism with poem

A fittingly novel response

Sherlock writer Mark Gatiss has responded to criticism of the new episode of series four with a poem.

The writer, actor, comedian and League Of Gentlemen star also plays Sherlock’s brother Mycroft in the hit BBC show. After the first episode of the new season was debuted on New Year’s Day received a mixed reaction, Gatiss responded to one negative review in a fittingly novel way.

Writing in The Guardian, critic Ralph Jones wrote that the team had taken “ill-advised liberties with Conan Doyle’s stories,” and was slowly morphing into a version of the latest few movies from James Bond.


He continued: “There is obviously an audience and an appetite for abseiling assassins, machine-gun shootouts and Benedict Cumberbatch getting sopping wet while kicking ass in an expensive suit. But, like the perverse instincts that lurk in the palaces of our minds, this is an appetite that ought to be resisted.”

Gatiss clearly took issue, and responded with a poem:

Here is a critic who says with low blow
Sherlock’s no brain-box but become double-O.
Says the Baker St boy is no man of action –
whilst ignoring the stories that could have put him in traction.

The Solitary Cyclist sees boxing on show,
The Gloria Scott and The Sign of the Fo’
The Empty House too sees a mention, in time, of Mathews,
who knocked out poor Sherlock’s canine.

As for arts martial, there’s surely a clue
in the misspelled wrestle Doyle called baritsu.
In hurling Moriarty over the torrent
did Sherlock find violence strange and abhorrent?

In shooting down pygmies and Hounds from hell
Did Sherlock on Victorian niceties dwell?
When Gruner’s men got him was Holmes quite compliant
Or did he give good account for The Illustrious Client?


There’s no need to invoke in yarns that still thrill,
Her Majesty’s Secret Servant with licence to kill
From Rathbone through Brett to Cumberbatch dandy
With his fists Mr Holmes has always been handy.

Sherlock Series Four TrailerPress

Series four continues with episode two ‘The Lying Detective’ premiering on BBC One at 9pm on Sunday 8 January.

A synopsis reads: “Sherlock faces an enemy he calls the most despicable human being he has ever encountered. Could he be referring to the mysterious Culverton Smith?”