It's been a busy old week, full of award nominee announcements and festival headliner reveals, so lets kick off with the most crucial news: David Jason has criticised Miley Cyrus for "eroding morality". The former Fools And Horses star said her raunchy performance at the VMAs was symbol of the erosion of politeness and manners. Burrrrn.
After a five year a hiatus we thought we might never (ever, ever, ever) see Outkast's return, but they're on the bill for Coachella 2014. The duo will be joined by Disclosure, Muse and Lorde.
Sam Smith was announced as the BBC Sound Of 2014 on Friday, beating Ella Eyre and Banks. More importantly he let slip he's Lily Allen's cousin.
A Harvard University professor has claimed he can teach adults absolute pitch by giving them a pill normally used to treat epilepsy. The drug reverts capacity for learning to that of a seven-year-old child. Professor Takao Hensch said: "It's quite remarkable since there are no known reports of adults acquiring absolute pitch."
The BRIT Award nominees were announced on Thursday. Haim, Bowie, Daft Punk, Lorde, Arctic Monkeys, Disclosure and Jake Bugg are all in the running for awards. So are One Direction, but we'll ignore that…
On Monday we discovered Neil Young is not a fan of clapping. The singer-songwriter gave audience members at a New York gig a tongue-lashing when they clapped along to the beat of 'Ohio'. "Wrong!" he shouted. "It’s something that you probably don’t know, but there’s a hell of a distance between you and me."
Chance The Rapper gave NME the scoop on his new roomie this week. The hip hop star's moved into a New York pad with James Blake. Sounds like a recipe for an incredible house party.
A Tupac musical called Hollar If You Hear Me will be opening on Broadway this summer. Telling the story of two childhood friends living in a poor Midwestern industrial city, the producers said the £4.8 million show will be a tale of "friendship, family, revenge, change and hope".
Josh Homme will be taking part in A Night Of 1000 Vaginas. That's right, A Night Of 1000 Vaginas. Not as filthy as it sounds, the event is actually an LA comedy fundraiser for reproductive rights.
Ricky Wilson let slip to NME that his motivation for joining The Voice's judging panel was to sell more Kaiser Chiefs records. "I know that everyone is going, 'He thinks he's going to sell more records and more tickets'," he said. "And that is why I'm doing it. I'm not a fucking idiot."
We learned Ringo Starr looks great in a dress. The former Beatle made an appearance as a cartoon character in The Powerpuff Girls wearing a dashing yellow number.
Jay Z showed off his soft side on stage at a gig in North Carolina this week. Inviting a 12-year-old up to perform his part in 'Clique' he stopped the whipper-snapper from rapping the lyrics about drug dealing and then gave him a cuddle.
We were treated to rare footage of Nirvana's final Los Angeles gig at the start of the week. Filmed by documentary maker Dave Markey four months before Kurt Cobain's death, it shows the band playing 'All Apologies' and a cover of David Bowie's 'The Man Who Sold The World' at the Great Western Forum in December 1993.
On Wednesday we said goodbye to the promise of Drake's posthumous Aaliyah album. Producer Noah '40' Shebib decided to scrap the project because of "negative stigma" around the project. "The world reacting to Drake’s involvement so negatively, I just wanted nothing to do with it," he said.
And finally, this week we learned the 'Girls'' Season 3 soundtrack will feature new music from Lily Allen, Beck, Miguel and Jenny Lewis. "It’s the same sound, same vibe, but one thing that’s different this season is we’ve had the luxury of getting people to contribute brand new songs for us," said music supervisor Manish Raval.