Police video of Justin Bieber giving a urine sample for a drug test after his arrest in Miami was released by prosecutors on Thursday, because AMERICA. Literally the sight of a pop star pissing his career away, it's his best release yet, if you ask us.
Where does the time go, eh? Proving the last seven days were as educational as they were entertaining, here's 15 things we learned this week in music, starting with Liam Gallagher's fury at the upcoming 'Definitely Maybe' boxset. "DONT BUY INTO IT.LET IT BE," he tweeted. 'Let It Be'? Man, even in their tweets Oasis can't help but rip off the Beatles! Just kidding, LG.
A news story circulating this week that claimed Kurt Cobain's old roommate was selling the former Nirvana frontman's belongings on Craigslist, including a telephone and set of skis, was confirmed to be a hoax. We should have known really - can you really picture Kurt popping over the Alps on a weekend break to tear up the slopes? Us neither. Never mind.
Fat White Family frontman Lias Saoudi labelled Alex Turner a "moron" and "buffoon" in an interview with NME this week, saying that the Arctic Monkeys frontman's speech at this year's Brit Awards made him cringe. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
Coldplay announced their sixth studio album will be arriving in May. Titled 'Ghost Stories', its title's a marked improvement on 2011's 'Mylo Xyloto', which sounded like some kind of dyslexic Pokemon.
Recent NME Award winner Belle and Sebastian are to soundtrack a new US sitcom starring Matthew Perry - better known as Chandler from Friends. As Chandler would have it - could we be any more excited?
Nick Grimshaw was hospitalised after swallowing glass in the middle of his BBC Radio 1 show. Reports the stunt was a bloody, throat-scratching homage to 2004 Bloc Party album track 'Like Eating Glass' are so far unconfirmed.
Bruce Springsteen covered Lorde's 'Royals' at a show in the teenager's native New Zealand. "I got a little teary. It was very cool," she said. I guess if the Boss wanted to impress his Kiwi fans with a song by one of their own, it was a toss up between Lorde and a Flight of the Conchords skit, so fair dos.
Ricky Gervais has announced more shows under his guise as The Office character David Brent. The funnyman will play in Oxford and London in May. No Slough date? Talk about forgetting where you come from, Brent. If you see me at any of the gigs by the way, mine's a lager. Me, lager, Finchy lager, Gareth lager, sometimes cider. Different drinks for different... needs.
Cash Money rapper Lil Wayne has reportedly forgotten to handover over any of his cash money earnings to the IRS, leaving him a tax bill that now tops $12m. Oh Wayne.
Peter Hook launched a verbal attack on former bandmate Bernard Sumner this week, labelling him a 'twatto' for touring New Order's greatest hits without him. Were there a greatest hits of insults, that'd definitely be in there.
The Rolling Stones played a track not heard live in 40 years at a show in Tokyo on Tuesday. 'Silver Train', last performed in 1973, got a run out after fans voted for it to be played in a poll on Stones social media. What's Japanese for "deep cut"?
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Jared Leto - the only person in history to celebrate winning an Oscar by announcing a mammoth US tour with Linkin Park. The 30 Second To Mars man, who won Best Supporting Actor for his turn in Dallas Buyers Club, hits the road for 25 dates with the nu-metallers in August. Presumably not in his dapper Oscars suit, but who knows.
The Killers and Justin Timberlake are to headline this year's V Festival, it was announced this week. And don't they just look delighted at the news?
Finally, we need to talk about Kevin McCallister: Macaulay Culkin is to bring his pizza-themed Velvet Underground tribute band the Pizza Underground to the UK in May, kicking off their tour at Shoreditch's Concrete - located, fittingly, underground, beneath a pizzaria. See you down the front for a slice of the action, y'all.