17 fictional foodstuffs that will make ’90s kids drool

Grab a krabby patty and wash it down with a tasty can of Slurm.

Millennials: we show no signs of growing up and, no, we must not do so any time in the near future. I’ll continue to covet Szechuan Sauce while watching Ricky and Morty in my animal onesie, thanks all the same. The world is currently all hot under the collar for the fictional foodstuff from the Netflix cartoon, but it’s not the first time we’ve developed a taste for made-up grub. In fact, Reptar Bars from the ‘90s cartoon Rugrats are now going to be available in the real world, meaning you can gorge yourself on nostalgia while keep your responsibilities firmly at bay. Here are 19 other fictional foods we’d love to shove down our immature mouths.

1
Krusty Burgers

Show: The Simpsons
Just as we can’t get enough of that wonderful Duff, we could also murder a Krusty Burger. Cowabunga!

2
Chef’s Chocolate Salty Balls

Show: South Park
Chef (voiced by Stax Records legend Isaac Hayes) cooks up these suggestive snacks in a 1998 episode of the rude cartoon, in which he croons: “Say, everybody, have you seen my balls/they’re big and salty and brown/if you ever need a quick pick-me-up/just stick my balls in your mouth.” Altogether now!

3
Big Bad Burrito

Show: Dexter’s Laboratory
This cheese and bean concoction is actually bigger than the titular hero of the show, and causes him all manner of troubles in the tellingly titled episode ‘Critical Gas’.

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4
Mooby’s

Movie: Dogma
This fictitious fast-food chain first appears in 1999’s Dogma and recurs throughout director Kevin Smith’s oeuvre.

5
Pawtucket Patriot Ale

Show: Family Guy
If you ever happen to touchdown in Quahog, Rhode Island (which will be difficult as it doesn’t actually exist), the first thing you should do is hit up Peter Griffin and head down The Drunken Clam for a Pawtucket Patriot Ale. In the episode ‘The Simpsons Guy’, it turns out that the beverage is just Duff Beer from The Simpsons with a different label. We suspected all along.

6
Cheesecake from Mama’s Little Bakery

Show: Friends
Chandler and Rachel weren’t the closest of the Friends, but they bonded over the highly delicious cheesecake they found untouched outside a neighbour’s apartment. The secret ingredient is crime.

7
Slurm

Show: Futurama
The Simpsons creator Matt Groening tickled our tastebuds once more with his other show, Futuruma, though you should probably skip the episode where you find out that the soft drink milked from a giant worm called the Slurm Queen.

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8
Little Nero’s Cheese Pizza

Film: Home Alone
Kevin McCallister was a big fan of this pizza (slogan: “No fiddlin’ around!”) in the quintessential Christmas film. The brand actually became real, with the pizza sold in various restaurants around America, to celebrate the movie’s 25th anniversary back in 2015. If you didn’t order one and say, “Keep the change, ya filthy animal!”, I’m afraid we cannot be friends.

9
Orange soda

Show: Keenan & Kel
Who likes orange soda? Everyone. Not technically fictional, so grab a can and toast Kel now.

10
A $5 ‘Shake

Film: Pulp Fiction
Wash it down with a tasty Big Kahuna Burger and we can be pals again.

11
The Naco

Show: Kim Possible
Two fairly essential foodstuffs: nachos and tacos. Put one inside the other and, hey presto, you have the snack of dream. Also, type 2 diabetes.

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12
Butter Beer

Movies: The Harry Potter series
Which of us hasn’t got off our mash on butter beer and thought to ourselves: “You’re a wizard, Harry.”

13
Scooby Snacks

Show: Scooby Doo
There’s been much speculation over the years as to the exact ingredients of these sweet treats. We ain’t got a Scooby Doo mate.

14
Krabby patties

Show: Spongebob Squarepants
Think too hard about the absorbent nature of Spongbob’s stomach lining, readers, and you will begin to feel sick at the thought of how many Krabby Patties he put down there.

15
Damn Fine Cherry Pie

Show: Twin Peaks
Like Agent Cooper, we long to wash this all-American snack down with a damn fine cup of coffee in the titular town of Twin Peaks.

16
Pizza Planet

Movie: Toy Story
Andy his toy pals love a trip to this fictional fastfood chain in Toy Story, and Pixar fans will know that a Pizza Planet vehicle can be spotted in almost every one of the studio’s films to date.

17
Powdered Toast

Show: Ren & Stimpy
The breakfast food purports to “taste like sawdust” and is represented by a weird toast-headed dude called Powdered Toast Man. Where did he get the name from?

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