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17 fictional foodstuffs that will make ’90s kids drool

Grab a krabby patty and wash it down with a tasty can of Slurm.

Millennials: we show no signs of growing up and, no, we must not do so any time in the near future. I’ll continue to covet Szechuan Sauce while watching Ricky and Morty in my animal onesie, thanks all the same. The world is currently all hot under the collar for the fictional foodstuff from the Netflix cartoon, but it’s not the first time we’ve developed a taste for made-up grub. In fact, Reptar Bars from the ‘90s cartoon Rugrats are now going to be available in the real world, meaning you can gorge yourself on nostalgia while keep your responsibilities firmly at bay. Here are 19 other fictional foods we’d love to shove down our immature mouths.

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1Krusty Burgers

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Show: The Simpsons Just as we can’t get enough of that wonderful Duff, we could also murder a Krusty Burger. Cowabunga!

2Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls

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Show: South Park Chef (voiced by Stax Records legend Isaac Hayes) cooks up these suggestive snacks in a 1998 episode of the rude cartoon, in which he croons: "Say, everybody, have you seen my balls/they're big and salty and brown/if you ever need a quick pick-me-up/just stick my balls in your mouth." Altogether now!

3Big Bad Burrito

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Show: Dexter’s Laboratory This cheese and bean concoction is actually bigger than the titular hero of the show, and causes him all manner of troubles in the tellingly titled episode ‘Critical Gas’.

4Mooby’s

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Movie: Dogma This fictitious fast-food chain first appears in 1999’s Dogma and recurs throughout director Kevin Smith’s oeuvre.

5Pawtucket Patriot Ale

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Show: Family Guy If you ever happen to touchdown in Quahog, Rhode Island (which will be difficult as it doesn’t actually exist), the first thing you should do is hit up Peter Griffin and head down The Drunken Clam for a Pawtucket Patriot Ale. In the episode ‘The Simpsons Guy’, it turns out that the beverage is just Duff Beer from The Simpsons with a different label. We suspected all along.

6Cheesecake from Mama’s Little Bakery

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Show: Friends Chandler and Rachel weren’t the closest of the Friends, but they bonded over the highly delicious cheesecake they found untouched outside a neighbour’s apartment. The secret ingredient is crime.

7Slurm

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Show: Futurama The Simpsons creator Matt Groening tickled our tastebuds once more with his other show, Futuruma, though you should probably skip the episode where you find out that the soft drink milked from a giant worm called the Slurm Queen.

8Little Nero’s Cheese Pizza

Film: Home Alone Kevin McCallister was a big fan of this pizza (slogan: “No fiddlin’ around!”) in the quintessential Christmas film. The brand actually became real, with the pizza sold in various restaurants around America, to celebrate the movie’s 25th anniversary back in 2015. If you didn’t order one and say, “Keep the change, ya filthy animal!”, I’m afraid we cannot be friends.

9Orange soda

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Show: Keenan & Kel Who likes orange soda? Everyone. Not technically fictional, so grab a can and toast Kel now.

10A $5 'Shake

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Film: Pulp Fiction Wash it down with a tasty Big Kahuna Burger and we can be pals again.

11The Naco

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Show: Kim Possible Two fairly essential foodstuffs: nachos and tacos. Put one inside the other and, hey presto, you have the snack of dream. Also, type 2 diabetes.

12Butter Beer

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Movies: The Harry Potter series Which of us hasn’t got off our mash on butter beer and thought to ourselves: “You’re a wizard, Harry.”

13Scooby Snacks

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Show: Scooby Doo There’s been much speculation over the years as to the exact ingredients of these sweet treats. We ain’t got a Scooby Doo mate.

14Krabby patties

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Show: Spongebob Squarepants Think too hard about the absorbent nature of Spongbob’s stomach lining, readers, and you will begin to feel sick at the thought of how many Krabby Patties he put down there.

15Damn Fine Cherry Pie

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Show: Twin Peaks Like Agent Cooper, we long to wash this all-American snack down with a damn fine cup of coffee in the titular town of Twin Peaks.

16Pizza Planet

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Movie: Toy Story Andy his toy pals love a trip to this fictional fastfood chain in Toy Story, and Pixar fans will know that a Pizza Planet vehicle can be spotted in almost every one of the studio’s films to date.

17Powdered Toast

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Show: Ren & Stimpy The breakfast food purports to “taste like sawdust” and is represented by a weird toast-headed dude called Powdered Toast Man. Where did he get the name from?
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