Bob Dylan, proving what a charmer he can be when he puts his mind to it.
No, because that’s not disrespectful at all. Given that English isn’t David’s first language we’ll forgive him, the connard. Sorry, that wasn’t disrespectful was it?
Mel C held the award for worst post-Spice Girls lyric and looked unlikely to ever relinquish that dubious accolade, until Geri hit the comeback trail with this stinker. ‘I couldn't live without my phone, but you don't even have a home,’ at least attempted to rhyme.
Kanye takes the core idea of ‘There Is A Light That Never Goes Out’ and crushes the romance out of it by revealing a desire for a quick, posthumous legover in the hereafter. On this drizzly Valentines Day, here are 24 more odious odes to love to laugh at and lament upon.
Stephin Merritt is not a man known for his charity, and he’s not a man who’d usually deliver a rhyme as weak and tenuous as this one. We’ll let him off though as he appears to be having a bad day.
Antipodean nosferatu Nick Cave has written some of the darkest, most stunning love lyrics of the last three decades or so. These probably aren’t some of those.
Jarvis at his lascivious best and keeping it in the family on Pulp’s mid 90’s masterpiece, ‘A Different Class’.
Morrissey, as ever, is all heart. “Oh, would you like to marry me, and if you like you can buy the ring?” is another beauty (from ‘William, It Was Really Nothing’).