As far as comebacks go, Morrissey’s spoken-word video for ‘World Peace Is None of Your Business’ is about as cinematic as they come. Featuring a be-suited Moz sitting at a dimly lit piano while a gangster-style Nancy Sinatra delivers him flowers, it’s basically The Godfather with gladioli. With that in mind, here are 25 other music videos we’d most like to see made into films.
Blur - 'Coffee And TV'
Blur’s most memorable music video moment proved that, with enough cinematic charm and endearing quirks, the best romances can sometimes be between breakfast drinks. The journey of the little blue milk carton and his eventual meeting with his pink dream girl could easily compete with any Richard Curtis film as a true love story for our time.
R Kelly - 'Trapped In The Closet'
Already a cult classic, ‘Trapped In The Closet’ would be bound to get the punters in and pummelling the popcorn. Luckily, it seems our prayers may soon be answered, as Kelly stated in an interview with Rap Up TV last year that a movie is in the pipeline.
Prodigy - 'Smack My Bitch Up'
Argentinian director Gasper Noé (‘I Stand Alone’, ‘Enter The Void’) is no stranger to the darker sides of life, which would make him the perfect choice to direct a film version of ‘Smack My Bitch Up.’ We imagine you could expect bad language, trippy camera shots and at least an 18 rating.
Damon Albarn - 'Mr Tembo'
Whilst many think Damon might have lost it with his CBeebies-esque ode to the elephants, ‘Mr Tembo’ could be his big break into some serious safari documentary, narrated by (who else) David Attenborough. Hey, he could even throw in some Gorillaz for good measure…
Lana Del Rey - 'Video Games'
Having nailed melancholy wanderlust in both her films and music videos, we’d love to see what Sofia Coppola could do with ‘Video Games’. We envision multiple flashbacks and sepia- tinted shots of Lana in impossible beautiful outfits, lounging by deep swimming pools like some kind of Blanche DuBois character.
Destiny's Child - 'Survivor'
Like ‘Cast Away’ but sassier, Destiny’s Child could invent a whole new genre of disaster based dance-off if they were to turn ‘Survivor’ into a film. Just imagine a lot less ‘Wilsooon!’ and a lot more Dutty Wine… you could have a serious new teen summer hit without even needing to call Channing Tatum.
Muse - 'Knights of Cydonia'
For a band as brilliantly bonkers as Muse, a cinema smash is surely the next logical step on their quest for world domination. Considering that ‘Knights of Cydonia’ was essentially just ‘Django Unchained’ with massive lasers, converting it into a full story would be just another day in the office for Quentin Tarentino.
Vampire Weekend – 'Oxford Comma'
Whilst Richard Ayoade did a super-cool job on the 3-minute version, for those crisp blocky titles alone, Wes Anderson would be the only man to turn ‘Oxford Comma’ into a feature film. We demand more white suits, more afrobeat and please, more of those Tellytubby-worthy vibrant landscapes.
Aphex Twin – 'Windowlicker'
If Harmony Korine’s depiction of ‘Disney Girls Gone Wild’ in 2013’s ‘Spring Breakers’ wasn’t freaky enough for you, a feature length version of ‘Windowlicker’ might do the trick. We think David Lynch would do it justice, bringing in the same unsettling tone that made ‘Twin Peaks’ so astounding.
Fatboy Slim - 'Right Here, Right Now'
For all those fun-wrecking parents who demand that their kids watch ‘educational’ movies in the summer holidays, a 90-minute adaptation of ‘Right Here, Right Now’ would teach more about evolution than double science ever could. We reckon ‘Tree Of Life’ director Terence Malick would be just the man for the job.
Foo Fighters - 'Learn To Fly'
Boasting a turn from Jack Black, ‘Learn To Fly’ is already getting there in the movie A-list stakes. The real treat, however, is Dave Grohl’s multi-character acting skills. From cheeky air host to nervous schoolgirl to mental pilot, this is basically Airplane meets Eddie Murphy multi-role lark the Nutty Professor.
St. Vincent - 'Cruel'
St Vincent’s seemingly picture-perfect, Pleasantville (but with a dark twist) video for ‘Cruel’ is crying out for the Tim Burton treatment. Taking the pastel colour palette and overly perky style of Edward Scissorhands, it’s as surreal and sad on the inside and has enough oddball characters and scenarios in four minutes to easily flesh out into a full film fantasy.
Eminem - 'Stan'
Of course, Stan’s story of a crazed fan is basically a cinematic tale in itself and Eminem’s big screen capabilities have already been proven on 8 Mile. Get the film’s director Curtis Hanson back in and this one basically writes itself; it’s a wonder it hasn’t already actually happened.
Radiohead - 'Just'
M. Night Shamylan (The Sixth Sense, The Happening) has made a career out of particularly unnerving, ominous style of horror. ‘Just’s forboding, quietly horrifying central scene and unexplained ending are literally built for this treatment: suspense, fear, subtlety – it would be the perfect disquieting bone-chiller.
Coldplay - 'The Scientist'
OK, so maybe the thought of having to watch Chris Martin on screen for two hours is a polarizing one, but ‘The Scientist’s video – all played out in reverse – not only has a suitably stylistic angle to make it prime Oscar fodder but also a bleakly dramatic climax. Awards season awaits.
Ice Cube - 'It Was A Good Day'
In which our man Ice plays some basketball, doesn’t get stopped by the police, has a lovely game of cards and wins and generally – spoiler alert – has a good day. Sure there’s loads of films about war and violence, but hey! Maybe we could all just do with a little slice of positivity.
Beyoncé and Lady Gaga - 'Telephone'
Is there anything about ‘Telephone’ that doesn’t scream Hollywood? Two of the most famous leading ladies in the world go on the run from the cops like Thelma and Louis with crazier wardrobes. We haven’t had a celebratory girl power film smash for a while, and who better to provide it than Gaga and Bey?
David Bowie – Space Oddity'
Ignore the video with Bowie sat on a stool - the original promo for this was a brilliantly odd piece made for film. Featuring Bowie playing Major Tom and a goofy ground control operator alongside some sultry females, all it needs is a little help from Moon director (and Bowie’s son) Duncan ‘Zowie Bowie’ Jones to turn it into a modern day space romance.
Beastie Boys - 'Sabotage'
‘Sabotage’s tongue-in-cheek getaway video features all the ingredients of a big screen action flick: police cars; disguises; explosions; people running away from things – it’s got it all. Give it a feature length time to develop the plot and add in the slick skills of Miami Vice director Michael Mann then, and you’re on to a winner.
Smashing Pumpkins - 'Tonight Tonight'
Already coming across somewhere between Lord Voldemort and Mary Poppins, Billy Corgan’s besuited character from ‘Tonight, Tonight’ is a classic character begging for some proper plot development. It’s a concept which would demand a suitably quirky director, so we nominate Alfonso Cuarón.
Nirvana - 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'
An undisputed classic, but so many unanswered questions. How did the cheerleaders all know the lyrics? Why are there no teachers around? And did anyone survive the fiery inferno? Having flexed his writing muscles on Kurt biopic ‘Last Days’, Gus Van Sant would surely be the man to tell the story of one of rock’s most iconic videos.
Basically any Kate Bush video
Let’s face i:, pretty much any Bush track could make a convincing blockbuster. Imagine ‘Babooshka’ as a full-scale Russian thriller, or ‘Don’t Give Up’ as a Hunger-Games esque disaster movie. All it needs is a Steven Spielberg worthy budget - quick, who wants to set up the Kickstarter?
Blur - 'Parklife'
All the people, so many people. But what happened to them all after Phil Daniels drove off into the Greenwich sunset in that Ford Granada? With so many characters to explore, Blur’s ‘Parklife’ could be the next big Brit flick, a sort of multi-faceted ‘Trainspotting’ with a lot less narcotics and a lot more ice cream.
Michael Jackson - 'Thriller'
Possibly the most famous music video ever, ‘Thriller’s 13-minute epic was basically a short film in itself. Take those dancing zombies and add the Guillermo Del Toro directorial touch (the director’s previously worked his magic on the likes of Pan’s Labyrinth), however, and you’d have the most light-footed horror spectacular ever.