1
Butthole Surfers, ‘Electric Larryland’. Listen to these alt-rockers for too long and invasive ear surgery with a pencil might seem a blessed relief.
2
NOFX, ‘Heavy Petting Zoo’. No, not a scene from this year’s Latitude Festival, it’s the cover of a punk record from 1996. ‘Pet Sounds’ it ain’t.
3
Cattle Decapitation, ‘Humanure’. An ‘affectionate’ tribute to Pink Floyd’s ‘Atom Heart Mother’ sleeve – if it’s possible to be ‘affectionate’ while presenting a horrifying image of bovine prolapse.
4
Eddie Mack, ‘Recorded Live’. He was the Chris Martin of his day.
5
Cannibal Corpse, ‘Butchered At Birth’. Banned in Germany, these US death-metallers specialise in sickening imagery. Sample song titles include ‘Meat Hook Sodomy’ and ‘I Cum Blood’.
6
Attila, ‘Atilla’. Embarrassingly, this was Billy Joel’s band before he became famous as a middle-of-the-road balladeer. Actually, looking back, perhaps this was a career high.
7
Royal Trux, ‘Sweet Sixteen’. Rumours that this was shot round Pete Doherty’s gaff after a heavy night were made up just now.
8
The Handsome Beasts, ‘Beastiality’. According to their MySpace, Brummie rockers The Handsome Beasts are currently ‘between’ record deals. You don’t say.
9
Boned, ‘Up At The Crack’. Billed as “the band AC/DC used to be” (erm, isn’t that AC/DC?), these retro rockers are still gigging, and can be found at Myspace.com/bonedrock.
10
Dismember, ‘Indecent And Obscene’. Does what it says on the tin.
11
Almafuerte, ‘Del Entorno’. Almafuerte were a mid-90s, Argentinian heavy metal outfit whose music was only marginally less pungent than the dog turd featured here.
12
Danielle Dax, ‘Pop Eyes’. This meat-themed kiddie-frightener was replaced by a less unsettling cover soon after its release in 1982.
13
Pungent Stench, ‘Been Caught Buttering’. They’re not real skulls – it’s just a model of an old man’s skull chopped in half. So that’s alright then.
14
Anthrax, ‘Fistful Of Metal’. Despite the daft cover, this is probably the thrash metallers’ best album, featuring frantic tracks such as ‘Metal Thrashing Mad’ and ‘Panic’.
15
Tiny Lynn, ‘Little Lehman’s Half-Fast Songs’. Why is it always fat blokes who name themselves Tiny?
16
Malevolent Creation, ‘Manifestation’. Not sure what is depicted here, but it’s bound to be unpleasant.
17
Cannibal Corpse, ‘Gore Obsession’. Yep, those jokers again.
18
The Heebee-Geebees, ’20 Big Number 2’s’. This a cappella comedy parody quartet featured a certain Angus Deayton (pictured, centre).
19
Mike Terry, ‘Live At The Pavilion Theatre, Glasgow’. Mum, is that you..?
20
Dave Starr, ‘The Nearer The Bone, The Sweeter The Meat’. We think there may be a double entendre in there somewhere.
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The Dwarves, ‘Blood Guts And Pussy’. Featuring such introspective ballads as ‘Let’s Fuck’ and ‘Fuck You Up And Get High’.
22
Queen, ‘The Miracle’. No doubt the technology to splice the band’s faces together was cutting-edge at the time, but the end result is still deeply creepy. The real miracle is that this ever reached the shelves.
23
Whitesnake, ‘Lovehunter’. What are you trying to say with this sleeve, boys? We can’t penetrate the complex layers of subtle allegory.
24
Swamp Dogg, ‘If I Ever Kiss It… He Can Kiss It Goodbye!’ Snoop’s dad, perhaps?
25
Spike Milligan, ‘Milligan Preserved’. Prince Charles was a massive Milligan fan. Enough said.
26
Cain, ‘A Pound Of Flesh’. Fact: one member of this Minnesota rock band, Dave Elmeer, now works as an anesthesiologist in Minneapolis.