Kasabian: 29 Of Tom And Serge’s Most Hilarious Boasts

The Leicester lads have just announced a special one-off gig at Leicester City’s King Power Stadium. Sure, they’ve got the tunes – but they’ve also got the swagger, as these hilarious boasts from Tom and Serge prove.

1
 

Tom: “Our songs are dirty, sexy, melodic, powerful… they sound like we’ve shit ourselves 10,000 feet in the air. No other band are making records like we are. We’re on another wavelength to them lot. We stand out in the middle of all that jingle-jangle shit. It blows my mind when I hear it, I’m like ‘is that really us? And you know what, it fucking is! We’re the fucking modernists!” (NME, 2006)

2
 

Serge: “I’d say we are in our 1971 phase… ’71 and shitting in people’s handbags with John Bonham.” [Interviewer: “whose handbag?”] Tom: “Madonna’s. A big fucking steaming turd.” (Clash, 2006)

3
 

Tom: “On our day, we won’t be beaten by any band on the planet, and I’ve said this before. We’re a match for anyone – even the giants of the universe.” (Leicester Mercury, 2012)

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4
 

Tom: “The process starts simple. Serge gets a demo and then we build on it, and then he mutates it with rocket fuel and liquid nitrogen and it’s crisp and it’s crack and it’s smack. It’s a dangerous, dangerous, dangerous, dangerous drug we’ve created.” (NME, 2014)

5
 

Tom: “We’re the best band in Britain at the minute. Form wise you can’t touch us; no one comes near, no-ones on our planet, on our scale. Fuck the Americans – I’m sick of your fuckin’ scuzzy garage rock shit. Stick it up your arse mate. People’s eardrums need saving. You don’t need to be fuckin’ rocked to sleep and wet the bed; you need to be fuckin’ shook and bitten on the arse.” (NME, Dec 2004)

6
 

Serge on their upcoming fifth album ’48:13′: “It’s sounding deep. Like future psychedelia, with a moshpit edge. How many bands can say they make music like that?” (NME, 2013)

7
 

Tom: “I am a cartoon, big blue eyes and big round nose. I’m the Tasmanian devil. I’m the Mickey Mouse of the band ain’t I? And Serge is Walt Disney, he drew me.” (NME, 2011)

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8
 

Serge: “Arnold Schwarzenegger said he works out to one of our albums, which is pretty mad. And Carol Vorderman.” (Metro, 2012)

9
 

Serge: “I want to put rock ‘n’ roll to the sword – I’m looking for the future sound of rock. I love guitars but I wanna destroy guitars as well.” (MTV, 2013)

10
 

Serge: “‘Empire’ is about disobeying orders; it’s about the middle finger to the machine. We are in a rock ‘n’ roll band; we are outlaws – we are bandits and we are pirates.” (Clash, 2006)

11
 

Serge: “Dance music was on its arse before we came along.” (Guardian, 2006)

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12
 

Tom: “We’ve got the balls, the tunes and the fire. We make fight tunes, music to gear you up for ripping the music scene to shreds.” (NME, 2004)

13
 

Serge following release of ‘Empire’: “We’ve left that crazy fucking E-popping rock’n’roll behind and gone for a more classic approach. As soon as you hear it, it’s a classic, from one to 11. It’s up there with some of the best records ever made. Strap yourself in, we’re gonna fly you to the fucking moon!” (NME, 2006)

14
 

Serge on ‘Empire’’s title track: “We could change the way people look at singles. Whatever, the song is amazing. It’s got the maddest death march in it ever, it just stomps along then explodes It’ll really mess with peoples heads. I can’t wait.” (NME, July 2006)

15
 

Serge: ‘When our fans come and see us it feels like they’ve flown to Mars for the night. Bands like Babyshambles claim to be there for the fans but it’s a circus. He’ll [Pete Doherty] go down in history as some fucking tramp, not a poet like he wants to be.’ (NME, July 2006)

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