Liam Gallagher’s 30 funniest insults

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Liam Gallagher isn’t afraid to express his opinions, even if they might land him in trouble. Like this one, on Glastonbury Festival: “You can hear the crowd talking while you’re playing, they don’t put any money into the PA and it’s just full of fucking idiots. It’s like Bond Street with mud.” (ShortList, June 2011)

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On Keith Richards and George Harrison: “They’re jealous and senile and not getting enough fucking meat pies.” (The Sun, October 1997)

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On Jack White: “The White Stripes? Fooking rubbish. School ties? At the age of 24? Fooking hell.” (NME, July 2002)

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On Pete Doherty: “What does the word Libertine mean? Freedom! He’s in the corner doing smack with a helmet on his head. There’s nothing free about that. It’s nasty.” (NME, 2005)

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On Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong: “Fuck right off. I’m not having him. I just don’t like his head.” (NME, August 2009)

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On Twitter: “If someone’s barking up the wrong tree I sort of point them in the right direction, but other than that I’m not into tweeting – it’s rubbish.” (Teenage Cancer Trust charity gig, March 2011)

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On Coldplay: “Chris Martin looks like a geography teacher. What’s all that with writing messages about Free Trade? If he wants to write things down I’ll give him a pen and a pad of paper. Bunch of students.” (NME, 2006)

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On starting Beady Eye without Noel: “I’m insulted that people think Noel Gallagher has been fucking carrying this band for the last 18 years. People were saying, ‘Oh it’s going to be fucking shit.’ It’s like, are you tripping or what?” (list.co.uk, March 2011)

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On Benicassim: “What a fuckin’ waste of time! If it wasn’t for those bloody kids it would’ve been a disaster. The problem was… wait for it… yes! The fuckin’ PA. It blew twice! And the monitor system blew twice! It’s becoming a joke. And not a very funny one.” (Oasisinet.com, July 2009)

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On brother Noel’s onstage attacker in Toronto: “It’s not nice when you look down and see your brother on the deck. If it was up to me, I’d have cut his [the attacker’s] dick off and made him eat it.” (Sky News, October 2008)

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On indie music: “I really despise this new fucking disease of indie fucking shit, fucking student music, the likes of Bloc Party and all that fucking nonsense. They don’t keep me awake at night, but it’s just shite, and they can fucking have it mate.” (Esquire, March 2010)

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Liam Gallagher

On Peter Kay’s jibe at last year’s Brit Awards: “Listen up fat fuck as a real Northerner I was brought up to say shit to people’s faces not behind their back. Live forever LG.” (Twitter, February 2010)

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Noel and Liam Gallagher Sighting – Manchester

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Noel and Liam Gallagher Sighting – Manchester

On working with brother Noel: “Noel used to have the big vision. Sometimes he treated us like his fucking backing band. Oasis was done. Even a blind man could see it. It was: new record, do the videos, big tour, have a fight. I’m glad that routine has come to an end.” (SPIN Magazine, March 2011)

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Noel and Liam Gallagher Sighting – Manchester

On Mumford And Sons: “I’m sure they’re all nice lads but that’s not for me. They look like fucking Amish people. I need music to be a bit more sexy and played by people who look a bit fucking dangerous.” (ShortList, June 2011)

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Oasis Performing Live – New York City

On Jay-Z’s clothing range Rocawear: “You’re going to be fucking arrested wearing his gear and you’re going to pull a really nice-looking bird wearing mine [Pretty Green].” (SPIN Magazine, March 2011)

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Music – Glastonbury Festival

On Bob Dylan: “I know all about him and that, but he’s a bit of a miserable cunt as far as I’m concerned. I like that tune he did ‘Lay Lady Lay’. People go nuts for him, but he doesn’t really do it for me.” (The Times, June 2011)

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On The Strokes: “We weren’t fucking scared of them the first time we heard them. We’re not fucking scared of them now!” (NME, March 2011)

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UK Radio Aid – Capital Radio Studios

On Brother: “Them little fucking wankers? Yeah, I’ve heard about them. What is it they call themselves, ‘gritpop’? They’re just fucking little posh kids with tattoos, man.” (NME, December 2010)

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