"I'll never make love to a 200lb woman and I'll never pay Â£200 for sex either." Read plenty more scrapings from Lemmy's mind in this week's NME.
Morrissey caught live in this week's issue, alongside reviews of The Wombats, Let's Wrestle and Slow Club.
Getting to the Shockwaves NME Awards shows early will not only get you up by the barrier for the headliners, you'll also catch shows by these rising stars.
An exclusive shot from the set of 'Control', the Ian Curtis biopic from 2007. More images will feature in director Anton Corbijn's diary of the making of the movie, 'In Control', out later this year.
Late Of The Pier recording the video for new single 'The Bears Are Coming', which was put together by Klaxons director Saam Farahmand. Pic: Andy Willsher
Lightspeed Champion called on a whole host of his friends to help celebrate his album launch, including Arctic Monkeys frontman Alex Turner and members of Ipso Facto and The Rascals. Pic: Tim Cochrane
Kasabian's Serge Pizzorno muttered that the album they're working on right now might be their last. Get the full story on the LP, due later this year, in the third part of our Albums Of 08 feature. Pic: James Looker
The Long Blondes have gone disco on their new record 'Couples', due out on April 7. Pic: Sonia Melot
The Futureheads have been busy in the studio and their new album is expected in the spring. Pic: Sam Jones
With the Shockwaves NME Awards shows coming up, there's a whole host of support artists you need to check out. We've got a full guide (including this lot, Team Waterpolo) in the Radar section. Pic: Richard Johnson
Find out just how important this man is in his cover feature this week. From inventing new rave to pioneering grindie, Dev Hynes, aka Lightspeed Champion, is an icon. Pic: Andy Fallon
British Sea Power live at the Embassy of the Czech Republic on January 10. You can hear their new album now on their NME.COM artist profile page.
Pic: Tom Oxley
We discovered an old interview with Lemmy hidden away on our desktops last week and realised we'd never printed it! Fear not, we righted that wrong and his hilarious musings are displayed in full in this week's NME.
Pic: Phil Wallis
After trying to eat his microphone onstage at The Wombats' gig at the Birmingham Barfly last week, Murph told us all about their second album of acid jazz. Pic: Richard Johnson
Let's Wrestle at London's Islington Bar Academy last week. As our witty subeditors pointed out in the caption, there was a one-on, one-off approach to stagediving at this gig. Their humour runs throughout this week's mag. Pic: Barney Britton
Vampire Weekend continued their invasion of the world with a gig at London's Hoxton Bar and Kitchen last week, and naturally we were there at the frontline, taking notes. Pic: Guy Eppel
Fed up with the overwraught stylings of Nash, Allen et al? Introducing Laura Marling, a 17 year-old songstress with a barrel of beautiful songs. Her album's reviewed in this week's NME.
The Duke Spirit release their second album this week, and it's better than the first. Get the full lowdown in the mag's reviews section.
Guess who got Track Of The Week this week? Glasvegas join Lovvers, The Feeling and Korn in this week's single reviews. Pic: Dean Chalkley
Lightspeed Champion, aka former Test Icicle and all-round zeitgeist sparker Dev Hynes, bags his first cover on this week's mag.
Carl Barat caught DJing in Brixton this month - get the full-page poster in the mag this week. Pic: James Quinton
Southend's newest hopes These New Puritans have just released their debut album, inspired by Greek pottery and Michael Barrymore jerking off. Read our verdict in this week's issue.