If any ticket holders for Bjork’s forthcoming European dates were disappointed when their favourite Icelandic heartbreaker cancelled the tour, her excuse totally made up for it. “Singing this album has been intense,” she explained of her new album ‘Vulnicura’, “and the internal clock of it different to the other ones”. Of course, the internal clock of an album, we totally understand. Some records just have to sleep at odd hours, it’s unavoidable. But Bjork is hardly the first act to come up with a weird reason for cancelling shows. Take this lot, for example…
Oasis – losing a fight with estate agents: Never strangers to pulling out of shows – remember when Liam couldn't go on a US tour because he had to buy a house? – Oasis' oddest cancellation came when they started flicking peanuts at a group of estate agents in a Munich club. The locals sent Liam on the next plane home for emergency dental treatment to replace his front teeth. No German tour.
Maroon 5 - tweeting at the Dalai Lama: Two Chinese dates by Maroon 5 were cancelled in July, reportedly because keyboardist Jesse Carmichael tweeted about attending the Dalai Lama's 80th birthday celebrations in LA. “Happy Birthday America (and The Dalai Lama too) sang happy birthday to his holiness today,” Carmichael wrote, only to find Beijing and Shanghai gigs promptly pulled. Oops.
The Clash – their frontman doing a runner: In 1982, ticket sales were sluggish for The Clash's UK gigs, so manager Bernie Rhodes told Strummer to drum up publicity by disappearing for a bit. Strummer fled to France and dropped so far off the radar that a private detective was hired to track him down. When he finally showed up, he claimed he'd been off running in the Paris Marathon.
Iggy Azalea – getting bored with her own songs: When Iggy cancelled her US tour in June, she claimed it was because she'd had a "creative change of heart" and needed time out to work on herself as an artist. “I want to start anew,” she said. “I need to figure out what I want my sound to progress to." In other words: "There's no fucking way I'm touring this bollocks for months on end."
Neil Young – losing a fight with a sandwich: An entire European tour by Neil Young was tossed out after he accidentally cut his finger while slicing a ham sandwich in 1997. "I'd have eaten the thing in one piece if I'd known that cutting it in half would jeopardise the tour," he said. "It's macaroni and cheese from now on."
R Kelly – getting maced in the face: After their 2002 collab 'The Best Of Both Worlds', Jay and R Kelly were due to tour together. Sex allegations aimed at Kelly meant they didn't hit the road till 2004, when the pair had a fall-out. It culminated at a New York show, where Kelly was allegedly pepper-sprayed by a Jay-Z associate during a row and booted off the tour.
Wham! – getting a nose job: In 1984, Wham! cancelled some shows claiming that George Michael's clothes-horse sidekick Andrew Ridgeley had been attacked with a champagne bottle in a nightclub. Over time fans questioned the story, because when the bandages came off, Ridgeley had a remarkably sleeker schnoz. Eventually, they came clean - Ridgeley had gone under the knife.
Kanye West – pissing off Taylor Swift fans: In 2009, Kanye West and Lady Gaga were due to kick off a joint tour called Fame Kills, but that was before West leapt onstage at the VMA Awards, snatched the mike from Taylor Swift and telling her she was but a dust mite clinging to the sparkling butt cheeks of Beyonce. The media backlash convinced Yeezy that he'd best get lost for a while.
Lionel Richie – snogging his way to the norovirus: After appearing on BBC Glastonbury coverage this year, Richie tried the old offer-the-cheek-then-plunge-for-the-lips trick on his interviewer and One Show presenter Alex Jones. Little did Lionel suspect that his target was suffering from the norovirus at the time, and his subsequent illness forced him to cancel two gigs.
Brian Wilson – wanting to plug a film: The Beach Boys man was due to play arenas around the UK in September 2015, including the 20,000-capacity London O2, to promote his new album 'No Pier Pressure'. The success of recent biopic Love And Mercy, however, convinced him to postpone the shows until 2016 to help promote the film by standing around near posters. Sorry, British Brianimaniacs.
Morrissey – meat: Never one to budge on his animal rights principals, Mozzer has cancelled many shows and tours because the country in question consumes dogs or culls baby seals and insisted many venues go entirely veggie for his gigs. In 1999 he canned a Dresden show because the venue had once been used as a slaughterhouse.
T-Pain – kidnap threats: Not many major stars play in Guyana, and T-Pain's experience might give a hint as to why. When he planned to perform in the country in 2009 the promoter received "credible death and kidnapping threats" that shut the show down. Fair enough, pal.
Beyonce – refusing to cover up: Plenty of acts have been banned from countries for the content of their live show – Madonna, Elton, Oasis obviously. Among the highest profile was Beyonce cancelling a show in Malaysia as the strict Muslim laws of the country would have forced her to be covered from shoulder to knee and indulge in no provocative dancing. Good luck with that.