NSFW: 50 Of The Most Deliciously Filthy Lyrics Ever Written

Here we are, bringing down the tone of National Poetry Day

We’ve rounded up the 50 filthiest lyrics of all time.

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“I want you to slap me and call me naughty/Put a beltsander against my skin/I want to feel pain all over my body/Can't wait to be punished for my sins” - Dominated Love Slave – Green Day
This is what happens when you let a punk rock drummer sing a song. Tre Cool’s country ditty is an absolute filth-fest.

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“Let me put my love into you babe/Let me cut your cake with my knife” - Let Me Put My Love Into You – AC/DC
We’re pretty sure that AC/DC aren’t singing about a visit to the patisserie here. And if they are, we hope they’re wearing gloves when they hand over our pain au chocolat.

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“I knew a girl named Nikki/I guess you could say she was a sex fiend/I met her in a hotel lobby/Masturbating with a magazine” - Darling Nikki – Prince
I know, we’re thinking the same thing – can’t wait to introduce her to the parents!

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“I'm so tired of playing/Playing with this bow and arrow/Gonna give my heart away/Leave it to the other girls to play” - Glory Box – Portishead
One of the straight up sexiest songs of all time, Portishead’s creepy, crawly ballad is beautiful and filthy all in one. Like Ryan Gosling after 20 minutes spent rolling around in a dumpster.

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“Fingertips are burning/Can I touch you there/Soft as velvet, eyes can see/Bring me close to ecstasy” - Soft As Snow, But Warm Inside – My Bloody Valentine
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“Fingertips are burning/Can I touch you there/Soft as velvet, eyes can see/Bring me close to ecstasy” - Soft As Snow, But Warm Inside – My Bloody Valentine
Cold shower for My Bloody Valentine, stat!

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“So you see what we can do/Is to try something new/If you're crazy too and I don't really see/Why can't we go on as three?” - Triad - The Byrds
These folk music-making hippies weren’t just practicing free love, they were penning odes to it to, as this song about threesomes proves.

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“Phone before you come, I need to shave my chocha/You do or you don't or you will or won't ya/Go downtown and eat it like a vulture” - Work It - Missy Elliott
A cunnilingus classic, we also get to hear about Missy Elliott’s pubic landscaping in this explicit hip hop party starter.

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“Screwing may be the only way that I can truly be free from my fucked up reality/So I dream and stroke it harder, 'cause its so fun to see my face staring back at me/I don't know your fucking name/So what? Let's fuck” - ADIDAS – Korn
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“Screwing may be the only way that I can truly be free from my fucked up reality/So I dream and stroke it harder, 'cause its so fun to see my face staring back at me/I don't know your fucking name/So what? Let's fuck” - ADIDAS – Korn
🙁

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“You showed up after work I'm bathing your body/Touch you in places only I know/You're wet and you're warm just like our bathwater/Can we make love before you go” - Pyramids - Frank Ocean
Soul smoothie Frank Ocean gets freaky in this epic track, which begins in ancient Egypt and ends up in a strip club in Las Vegas.

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“It's the first time together and I'm feeling kinda horny/Conventional methods of making love kinda bore me/I wanna knock your block off, get my rocks off/Blow your socks off, make sure your G spots soft” - Doin’ It – LL Cool J
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“It's the first time together and I'm feeling kinda horny/Conventional methods of making love kinda bore me/I wanna knock your block off, get my rocks off/Blow your socks off, make sure your G spots soft” - Doin’ It – LL Cool J
He’s a thorough lover, we’ll give him that and that’s probably why Ladies Love Cool James.

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“I feel like makin'/Feel like makin' love/Feel like makin' love/Feel like makin' love/Feel like makin' love to you” - Feel Like Makin’ Love – Bad Company
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“I feel like makin'/Feel like makin' love/Feel like makin' love/Feel like makin' love/Feel like makin' love to you” - Feel Like Makin’ Love – Bad Company
Alright, Paul Rodgers! We get it! You’re horny! No need to bang on about it. Christ, you just sound desperate

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“Once you put your hand in the flame/You can never be the same/There's a certain satisfaction/In a little bit of pain” - Erotic – Madonna
There’s definitely some proto 50 Shades of Grey action happening in Madonna’s S&M loving single. Bet E L James had this turned up to 11 when she was writing the book.

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“Soon we'll be making it, honey/I'll be feeling fine/You're my medicine, open up and let me in/Darling, you're so great, I can't wait for you to operate” - Marvin Gaye – Sexual Healing
One of the hottest songs ever made, it still has some of the weirdest lyrics. Congrats to Marvin for managing to equate a trip to the hospital with shagging.

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Prince unreleased music
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“Girl, you got an ass like I never seen/And the ride, I say the ride is so smooth/You must be a limousine” - Little Red Corvette – Prince
Prince loves classic cars almost as much as he loves bums. Not quite as much, but it’s a close run thing.

21“I want to fuck you like an animal/I want to feel you from the inside/I want to fuck you like an animal/My whole existence is flawed/You get me closer to god” - Closer - Nine Inch Nails

“I want to fuck you like an animal/I want to feel you from the inside/I want to fuck you like an animal/My whole existence is flawed/You get me closer to god” - Closer - Nine Inch Nails
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“I want to fuck you like an animal/I want to feel you from the inside/I want to fuck you like an animal/My whole existence is flawed/You get me closer to god” - Closer - Nine Inch Nails
Despite these rather graphic lyrics, we reckon that all Trent Reznor really wants is a good, old fashioned cuddle.

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“Pull up to my bumper baby/In your long black limousine/Pull up to my bumper baby/And drive it in between” - Pull Up To The Bumper – Grace Jones
Do we really have to spell this one out for you? Please don’t make us, our mum might be reading.

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“Blood races to your private spots/Let me know there's a fire/You can't fight passion when passion is hot/Temperatures rise inside my sugar walls” - Sugar Walls - Sheena Easton
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“Blood races to your private spots/Let me know there's a fire/You can't fight passion when passion is hot/Temperatures rise inside my sugar walls” - Sugar Walls - Sheena Easton
Unsurprisingly penned by Prince, this track takes on the kind of trip usually reserved for Sheena’s gynaecologist.

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“You came, I think?/Because the marble made my cheeks look pink” - Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings - Father John Misty
We can’t say that there are many songs about shagging in graveyards, but Father John Misty’s is one of the best.

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“Lick it good/Suck this pussy just like you should/My Neck, my back/Lick my pussy and my crack” - My Neck My Back – Khia
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“Lick it good/Suck this pussy just like you should/My Neck, my back/Lick my pussy and my crack” - My Neck My Back – Khia
One-hit-wonder Khia certainly doesn’t beat around the bush – pun very much intended – when it comes to directing her lover in the sack.

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“When it comes to this porn shit you know who the master is/Bitch I'll leave Necro tagged on your ass with jizz” - Get On Your Knees – Necro
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“When it comes to this porn shit you know who the master is/Bitch I'll leave Necro tagged on your ass with jizz” - Get On Your Knees – Necro
This is one of the tamer lines on rapper’s Necro’s outrageously explicit porno odyssey. Listen to the rest of the song at your peril.

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“I've been drinking, I've been drinking/I get filthy when that liquor get into me/I've been thinking, I've been thinking/Why can't I keep my fingers off it, baby?” - Drunk In Love – Beyoncé
A few Babychams to the wind and Beyoncé is more than up for getting her freak on, and she’s not concerned about everyone knowing what her and Jay Z get up to in the kitchen, either.

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“I'd rather fuck with you all goddamn night/‘cause your pussy's good/Now I'm fucking all your friends/‘cause you ran your mouth like I knew you would” - I’d Rather Fuck You - Easy-E
NWA alumni Easy E sounds like a pretty shitty boyfriend.

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“What does it take to turn you on, on/Now he has gone?/Now you're over 21?” - Animal Nitrate, Suede
First is this relatively mild offering from Godlike Geniuses, Suede.

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“Treating your teeth like dentists as I'm rubbing them/With an erection like injections/Fuck it, I be drugging them/Numbing up your tonsils like anbesol anesthetic/Coming down your throat like chloraseptic” - Put It In Your Mouth – Akinyele
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“Treating your teeth like dentists as I'm rubbing them/With an erection like injections/Fuck it, I be drugging them/Numbing up your tonsils like anbesol anesthetic/Coming down your throat like chloraseptic” - Put It In Your Mouth – Akinyele
If nothing else, Akinyele provides us with a great opportunity to learn some interesting pharmaceutical terminology.

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“Why you coming home at five in the morn/Something’s going on, can I smell yo’ dick?/Don’t play me like a fool, ‘cos that ain’t cool/So what you need to do is let me smell yo’ dick” - Smell Yo Dick – Riskay
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“Why you coming home at five in the morn/Something’s going on, can I smell yo’ dick?/Don’t play me like a fool, ‘cos that ain’t cool/So what you need to do is let me smell yo’ dick” - Smell Yo Dick – Riskay
Riskay is a sensible woman. She knows her man is cheating on her. But how best to get proof. Go through his phone? Ask his mates? Nah, she’s just gonna sniff his penis.

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“I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind/See, I know just what you want and I know just what you need girl/So, baby, bring your body to me” - Bump N’ Grind – R Kelly
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“I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind/See, I know just what you want and I know just what you need girl/So, baby, bring your body to me” - Bump N’ Grind – R Kelly
R Kelly might not see anything wrong with it, but considering his chequered past, a fair few people might.

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“Relax don't do it/When you want to suck to it/Relax don't do it/When you want to come” - Relax – Frankie Goes To Hollywood
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“Relax don't do it/When you want to suck to it/Relax don't do it/When you want to come” - Relax – Frankie Goes To Hollywood
The UK’s most explicit number one. The band used to pretend it was about motivating yourself, when really it was about shagging – which is pretty obvious.

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“You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals/So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel” - The Bad Touch – Bloodhound Gang
Managing to out-gross even Blink-182, the Bloodhound Gang were to sex what Jackass was to extreme sports.

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“Sucking on my titties like you wanted me/Calling me, all the time like Blondie” - Fuck The Pain Away  – Peaches
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“Sucking on my titties like you wanted me/Calling me, all the time like Blondie” - Fuck The Pain Away – Peaches
A former music and drama teacher, we bet parents’ evenings with Peaches were a right laugh.

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“I enter New York, no problem with my dick out/California porno star, my ass, you can lick out” - Sex Style - Kool Keith
Kool Keith – the man who invented porno-core. Say no more.

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“Went to a party/I danced all night/I drank 16 beers/And I started up a fight /But now I am jaded/You're out of luck/I'm rolling down the stairs/Too drunk to fuck” - Too Drunk To Fuck – Dead Kennedys
Don’t worry. It happens to the best of us sometimes.

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“Face down, ass up/That's the way I like to fuck/I like the butt, it's my favourite position/I'm tired of the front, so that's why I'm bitchin’” - Face Down, Ass Up - 2 Live Crew
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“Face down, ass up/That's the way I like to fuck/I like the butt, it's my favourite position/I'm tired of the front, so that's why I'm bitchin’” - Face Down, Ass Up - 2 Live Crew
The music of rap group 2 Live Crew was actually made illegal in a number of US states on obscenity charges. The line above is one of hundreds of shockers we could have picked as an example why.

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“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/And they're like/It's better than yours/Damn right/It's better than yours/I can teach you/But I have to charge” - Milkshake – Kelis
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“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard/And they're like/It's better than yours/Damn right/It's better than yours/I can teach you/But I have to charge” - Milkshake – Kelis
One second, let’s work this one out, milk… shake... Oh, we get it. We’re pretty sure that monetising this kind of transaction is pretty illegal though, Kelis.

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“Can I touch you there, touch you deep inside/Can I touch your heart, the way you're touching mine” - Can I Touch You There - Michael Bolton
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“Can I touch you there, touch you deep inside/Can I touch your heart, the way you're touching mine” - Can I Touch You There - Michael Bolton
Perhaps the most sickening of all the pervy lyrics is Michael Bolton’s creepy 'Can I Touch You There'. Don’t blame us if you have nightmares.

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“I’m gonna bed into you like a cat beds into a beanbag/Turn you inside out and lick you like a crisp packet” - Every Other Freckle – Alt-J
Maybe the raunchiest ever reference to a packet of Monster Munch, Alt-J let their sexual preference for savoury snacks known in this 2014 single.

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“Have you ever had sex? I have, it felt great/It felt so good when I did it with my penis/A girl let me do it, it literally just happened/Having sex can make a nice man out the meanest” - I Just Had Sex - The Lonely Island
The Lonely Island might be a comedy band, but we actually can’t tell the difference between this and some of the more, erm, ‘serious’ songs in this list.

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"I'll take you to the candy shop/ I'll let you lick the lollipop/ Go 'head girl, don't you stop/ Keep going 'til you hit the spot." – Candy Shop – 50 Cent
Not exactly known for his subtlety, 50 Cent plumbs new depths of depravity on this saucy romp.
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